General Discussion

How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night drinking and thought 'How on earth did I get home' As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the pub to your house. The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer Scooter. The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to the drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of wine . Bacchus has acquired a large batch of these magical devices. The Beer Scooter works in the following fashion: The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors detects this phe…

The 7 dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are THE dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack. "Son," says the Pope, "What can I do for you?" Dopey replies, "excuse me, your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?" The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome." In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them. Dopey turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?" The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "No, Dopey, th…

The 7 dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are THE dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack. "Son," says the Pope, "What can I do for you?" Dopey replies, "excuse me, your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?" The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome." In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them. Dopey turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?" The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "No, Dopey, th…

The 7 dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are THE dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack. "Son," says the Pope, "What can I do for you?" Dopey replies, "excuse me, your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?" The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome." In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them. Dopey turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?" The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "No, Dopey, th…

It is not often a man remembers an anniversary! A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?", she whisper's as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?". The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 15?" he asks solemnly."Y…

It is not often a man remembers an anniversary! A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?", she whisper's as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?". The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 15?" he asks solemnly."Y…

It is not often a man remembers an anniversary! A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?", she whisper's as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?". The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 15?" he asks solemnly."Y…

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. > > One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Mary > suddenly jumped into the deep end. She sunk to the bottom and stayed > there. > > Jim promptly jumped in to save her. He swam to the bottom and pulled Mary > out. > > When the medical director became aware of Jim's heroic act he immediately > ordered him to be discharged from the hospital, as he > now considered him to be mentally stable. > > When he went to tell Jim the news he said, "Jim, I have good news and bad > news. The good news is you're being discharged because sinc…

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. > > One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Mary > suddenly jumped into the deep end. She sunk to the bottom and stayed > there. > > Jim promptly jumped in to save her. He swam to the bottom and pulled Mary > out. > > When the medical director became aware of Jim's heroic act he immediately > ordered him to be discharged from the hospital, as he > now considered him to be mentally stable. > > When he went to tell Jim the news he said, "Jim, I have good news and bad > news. The good news is you're being discharged because sinc…

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. > > One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Mary > suddenly jumped into the deep end. She sunk to the bottom and stayed > there. > > Jim promptly jumped in to save her. He swam to the bottom and pulled Mary > out. > > When the medical director became aware of Jim's heroic act he immediately > ordered him to be discharged from the hospital, as he > now considered him to be mentally stable. > > When he went to tell Jim the news he said, "Jim, I have good news and bad > news. The good news is you're being discharged because sinc…

Timmy Regisford from the Shelter (NYC) is playing a VERY VERY rare set (practacly all night) in the box at Ministry this Saturday - Timmy usually plays over 12 hours of music at probably the best club in the world, on a Phazon system (said to be the best installation of such a system in the world at the moment)! So expect someone who can really control a system (the only other person who they turn the limiters off for is Louie Vega)! He's A&R for none other then West End records (helped in the creation of what we call call Dance music today)! If you want a change from the hard 'n' fast for one night get down there! I'm nothing to do with Soul …

Timmy Regisford from the Shelter (NYC) is playing a VERY VERY rare set (practacly all night) in the box at Ministry this Saturday - Timmy usually plays over 12 hours of music at probably the best club in the world, on a Phazon system (said to be the best installation of such a system in the world at the moment)! So expect someone who can really control a system (the only other person who they turn the limiters off for is Louie Vega)! He's A&R for none other then West End records (helped in the creation of what we call call Dance music today)! If you want a change from the hard 'n' fast for one night get down there! I'm nothing to do with Soul …

Timmy Regisford from the Shelter (NYC) is playing a VERY VERY rare set (practacly all night) in the box at Ministry this Saturday - Timmy usually plays over 12 hours of music at probably the best club in the world, on a Phazon system (said to be the best installation of such a system in the world at the moment)! So expect someone who can really control a system (the only other person who they turn the limiters off for is Louie Vega)! He's A&R for none other then West End records (helped in the creation of what we call call Dance music today)! If you want a change from the hard 'n' fast for one night get down there! I'm nothing to do with Soul …

Christ. My nose has started making a noise that can only be described as "creaking". It happens mostly just after I have blown it. This has become somewhat of a worry for me. I think I need to curb my weekend indulgences. m.

Christ. My nose has started making a noise that can only be described as "creaking". It happens mostly just after I have blown it. This has become somewhat of a worry for me. I think I need to curb my weekend indulgences. m.

Christ. My nose has started making a noise that can only be described as "creaking". It happens mostly just after I have blown it. This has become somewhat of a worry for me. I think I need to curb my weekend indulgences. m.

The Smurfs V The Wombles in no-holds barred fight. Who Wins?

The Smurfs V The Wombles in no-holds barred fight. Who Wins?

The Smurfs V The Wombles in no-holds barred fight. Who Wins?

errr.... Attached !!!

errr.... Attached !!!

errr.... Attached !!!

Goin out tonight, on my last piss up before I go to uni! What drinks would ya recommend???

Goin out tonight, on my last piss up before I go to uni! What drinks would ya recommend???

Goin out tonight, on my last piss up before I go to uni! What drinks would ya recommend???

This boy just takes the girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blow job?" "What? You're crazy???!!!" "Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem." "No!! Someone may see; a relative, a neighbor..." "At this time of the night no one will show up.." "I've already said NO, and NO!" "Honey, it's just a small blowie... I know you like it too.." "NO!!! I've said NO!!!" "My love.. don't be like that.." At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in nightgown with her hair totally in dis…

This boy just takes the girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blow job?" "What? You're crazy???!!!" "Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem." "No!! Someone may see; a relative, a neighbor..." "At this time of the night no one will show up.." "I've already said NO, and NO!" "Honey, it's just a small blowie... I know you like it too.." "NO!!! I've said NO!!!" "My love.. don't be like that.." At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in nightgown with her hair totally in dis…

This boy just takes the girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blow job?" "What? You're crazy???!!!" "Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem." "No!! Someone may see; a relative, a neighbor..." "At this time of the night no one will show up.." "I've already said NO, and NO!" "Honey, it's just a small blowie... I know you like it too.." "NO!!! I've said NO!!!" "My love.. don't be like that.." At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in nightgown with her hair totally in dis…

What a classic film!

What a classic film!