General Discussion

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?" She answers, "I'm moving to London. I heard prostitutes there get paid £400 for doing what I do for you for free." Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too, I want to see how you live on £800 a year".

Elton John goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Elton, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS." Elton is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?" Doc says "Eat one sausage, one head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, ten Jalapeno peppers, 3 raw chilli's, 40 walnuts, 40 peanuts, all topped off with 1/2 box of All Bran cereal, washed down with a litre of prune juice." Elton asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?" Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your arse is for ....

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So that do you think about that?" The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realised he'd l…

Just signed up to the board under this name. Hope you guys are well. Who's the best person to get in contact with to add news items to the front page - and also, I should be able to offer you guys some competitions and the like. Hope 2006 is treating you well so far Gary

...applying to be on the next Big Brother. Apparently they are holding auditions in Newcastle, Edinborough, London, Manchester, Cardiff and somewhere else from Febuary onwards for 4 months. I think I'd fit in well in a house full of retards....I wonder if I'd be allowed to take in a mushroom grow kit with me??? I cant stand the programme but I'm sure it'd be a laugh (I wonder if I could put off wanking for that long if I made it to the last week as well???)

Has to be a tuesday for me. I'm ALWAYS completely and utterly shattered after the weekends routine of not getting up for work. Come Monday I'm not too bad, but always proper shattered when I finish my working day, ready to be in bed early. Today, I am absolutly USELESSLEY (is that a word ? :S) tired, unable to maintain any food or fluids incase I bring it back up. I HATE TUESDAYS !

Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie appear to have stopped eating....but that hasn't stopped them from stepping out to the clubs every night! Need a hot date for a night out in Hollywood? Just borrow a lifesize skeleton from a high school anatomy classroom and toss a blonde wig on it. ...more at gallery of the absurd

HELP YASELF TO LOTS OF DJ MIXES just thought id share that with you all

Test your eyes Count every "F" in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS... (SEE BELOW) HOW MANY ? ............. 3? WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke. READ IT AGAIN ! The reasoning behind is further down. The brain cannot process "OF". Incredible or what? Go …

Bloody hell, did any of you first timers get that rush when it was the moment of truth, driving out on your own ? I just had to go somewhere, and I thought 'eek, I've got to drive on my own now'. My mum and dad are out so I've got no choice. Bit the bullet, have to do it sometime, got half way up the road and had this mad rush all over, and I said to myself 'Oh fuck, I cannot do this', then got to the end of the road and carried on - the whole jourmey I just couldn't believe I was doing it all by myself. I was in control, just ME ! It's well scarey I will tell you that, but it is AWESOME !

So, you lot didn't do bad on here. some good replies, but HOLY shit, you we're a long way short of Bangin tunes forum 15781 replies.

Thats right folks, i'm off ski-ing for the new year. Going to a place called Val Di'sere (sp.) Cant wait, its gonna be mega! I think this is where we are staying!

I'm thinking about putting in a claim for my 2 kids but have heard some bad press, like it takes years to make a claim & they're not very reliable etc

. . Niece. Isn't she fucking adorable ? Yet again, I get to play the roll of an Auntie. I love it. Damn, she is going to get so spoilt.

I just passed my driving test - with 7 minors. I cannot believe it, I am so FUCJING CHUFFED !!!!!! Get in.

>>A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he >>takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite >>blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection. >>The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, "Did you >>call for me?" The man replies, "No, what do you mean?" She says, "You >>must be new here. Let me explain. >>It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called >>for me." >>Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on >>a towel, eagerly pulls him to h…

Is top f*cking notch. So many albums, so many tunes and such crisp incredible sound That is all. Thanks Mark.

.......is considerably hotter than most of the UK right now!! But is also a little bit dull

what do you think of this tracklist in a serious opinion, before i go ahead and mix it on monday for my new cd. ???? Titled: Times Of Your Lives 1.Paul Van Dyk "For An Angel '98" (Ashtrax Remix) 2.Deepest Blue "Deepest Blue" (Elektrique Boutique Mix) 3.Paul Van Dyk "Time Of Our Lives" (Starecase Remix) 4.Twenty Four (24) "The Longest Day" (Armin Van Buuren Dub) 5.Joy Kitikonti "Joyenergizer" (2005 Remix) 6.Fingers Burnt "Squat Thrust" 7.Yves Deruyter "Infinity" 8.The Space Brothers "Everywhere I Go" (Nick Swede Remix) 9.Agnelli & Nelson feat. The Burn "Shivver" (John O'Callaghan Mix) 10.Ferry…

check this out, its been terrible all day GAS note: the school is less than 1.5 mile away from my house

VISIT OUR ONLINE GROUP AND REGISTER FOR FREE ON DONT STAY IN http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d110/dirtydubbin/dsitext.gif EACH AND EVERY DIRTYDUBBIN EVENT, DJ GIG AND DETAILS ON OUR NEW TUNES ARE AVAILABLE ON DONT STAY IN. YOU CAN VIEW OVER 100000 PICS FROM PREVIOUS EVENTS AT CLUBS SUCH AS SEOne, Deep Blue, Turnmills and Many more. Listen to Free DJ mixes, post your own comments, guestlist offers to EVERY SINGLE MAJOR CLUB in the UK you have nothing to lose Join for free by clicking the link at the Top

your daughter that!! FIFTH ROW ALONG FIFTH PIC DOWN FUCKING CLASS hahahahahahahaha

I found over the weekend an old Marvel comic from the mid 90s i didn't know I had in good condition which may fetch me a few quid now anyone else found anything of worth recently??

hello peeps just wanted to say hi from me ! Down here in Plymouth and a Dance Academy regular .

>>A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday, so instead >>of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys >>and spending his entire pay. >> >>When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by >>his angry wife and was nagged for nearly two hours. >> >>Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you >>like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That >>would be fine with me." >> >>Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came >>and went with the sa…

Fancy Parking Possibly one of the most pointless websites ever but when I saw it, you were the first thing that popped into my ginger melon.

booked it today!! *falls over* :w00t:

Why, for women, is it a good thing to get a maternity dress but if a guy gets a paternity suit its not such a good thing?

i have tunes for sale if interested

It's such ashame to see CTW so quiet. This was the original friendly clubbing forum. It's where some amazing friendships have been made, and through it some amazing nights have been had. Things in life are always changing, so I'm not about to harp on about "the good old days". That said, I think it would be great if CTW could get just a little bit busier. It's not impossible, other forums have disappeared for months upon months, come back to just a few people and evenutally picked up on membership numbers and therefore chatter. Here's your challenge, should you choose to accept it... You have 48 hours to go out and get one new person to register and post in this…