General Discussion

monday i fall ill with what i can only describe as an overnight case of bronkitous (sp?) tuesday i get dumped by my gf because shes feeling 'pressured' in this relationship as i'm the nicest guy shes met i thought we we're getting on great but as usual i fail to keep a girl for more than a few weeks wednesday i go back to work feeling shit enuf as it is knowing i have 5 days work to do in 2 days (as well as having to leave early to tidy the house so i can show 3 lots of prospective tennants round). then my boss tells me that i cant have friday off making my plans to see andy play techno impossible i might as well kill myself now and save the stress of…

If you didnt get my text then I'd love it if you could accomodate me on sunday. Please let me know by saturday as you suggested. Cheers hun, hope everything goes alright on friday.

PONG Enjoy. I found it pretty funny.

It's almost the w/e, I'm only working until 12.30 today & then up to London for Have I got News for you.

Funny in a sick way...... again

:Hate:

Bloke goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants. 'I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your titz' he says. 'You dirty bastard' shouts the barmaid 'get out before I get my husband.' The bloke apologises and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The Barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants. 'I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your arse and lick it all off' he says. 'You dirty filthy pervert. You're banned. Get out!!' she storms. Again, the bloke apologises and swears never ever to do it again. 'One more chance' says the barmaid. 'Now - what do you want?' …

Some RED SAUCE, found in the top of a SIZZLER POT, was rumoured to have instigated DIVORCE proceedings against a HORSE today. However, a spokesperson for Pot Noodle denied this. "Red Sauce is a type of food and as such unable to marry under UK law." said the irate pot noodler, "Neither can horses. Stop calling me about this stuff."

how was the hair & the baby??

hows your tummy now??

Where have i seen that Pussy before?

How was the holiday chick?

dunno why but ur avatar reminds me of mauro picotto for some reason think it looks like some photos i've seen of him somewhere, but then i'm sure i'm due back at the opticians now for another eye checkup

They run 10 mph, jump three feet, are a nocturnal spider, so only come out at night unless they are in shade. When they bite you, you are injected with Novocain so you go numb instantly. You don't even know you are bitten when you are sleeping, so you wake up with part of your leg or arm missing because it has been gnawing on it all night long. If you are walking around and you bump something that is casting a shadow over it, and the sun makes contact with it, you better run. It will instantly run for your shadow, and scream the whole time it is chasing you. PS. The one on the bottom is eating the one on the top. These are Spiders found daily in IRAQ by tro…

**STOP THE PRESS** Hard House Academy has SOLD OUT of ALL advance tickets! In order to help you avoid the hassles and stress of queuing up on the door on the night we are going to sell 300 of the Door tickets in advance. These will be sold on a first come, first served basis from 08700 600 100. You can pay for them over the phone or online at www.ticketweb.co.uk by credit or debit card. These will then be held for you on the door on the night where you can collect them at any time before 3am. If you don’t have time to buy them in advance or you have friends who decide at the last minute that they want to come to HHA then don’t worry because we are keep…

are fucking yummy. get some.

its all chocolate & no wafer

its had to be put sleep it was a baby blue tit.....gutted FUCKING CAT its gonna feel my foot up its arse when i get it

So who do you think will win? I think Monaco will win! 2-1

What is your favourite non dance band/performer? It could be New Kids On The Block, Take That or the Spice Girls. Mine has to be Robbie Williams or Guns n Roses.

Peter Kay one-liners I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ' Guess' on it. I said, "..........Thyroid problem?" When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice.For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father. I' ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder. I went to a restaurant that serves ' breakfast at any time' So…

What are your fav movies in the following catagories?? Romance Horror Action Thriller Comedy

Did anyone watch this tonight ? I thought it was very interesting with these two birds switching jobs. Coudn't believe that rich burd didn't have a CLUE how to wash up after tea. haha funny as. Id love to do glamour modelling after watching it now though ! Toooo right !

fun weekend ? simon said you lot were abit worse for wear when he saw you. I spoke to my mate, and he said if possible he would like to speak to your uncle (i think u said that) who runs the companies/websites. Is this possible?

it always helps me get through the day with a pic of dermot o'leary about and after friday i will be able to see him every day on Big brothers little brother (somthing good has to come out of BB) http://www.birmingham101.com/clothes2002-1.jpghttp://www.paulpostle.co.uk/Resources/dermot05.jpeg http://www.paulpostle.co.uk/Resources/dermot01.jpeg http://www.paulpostle.co.uk/Resources/dermot02.jpeg http://www.dermotoleary.net/pictures/bblb/img_bb5_dermot01.jpg http://www.dermotoleary.net/pictures/sportingbuddies/img_dermotmassage3.jpg thank you please

Just read your PM mate, i am back at work tomorrow. Im poorly sick today so i cant get to a bank, right now so i will do it tomorrow lunchtime, it will be instant so if you want to go ahead and do the honours ill put it in your account a.s.a.p pm me your bank details ok x

Is there anyway to cut & paste or put a IPDF Dopcument on here? You know what I mane, the sort of document that needs Adobe Reader?