General Discussion

Two nuns driving through Transylvania at night, when suddenly Dracula jumps on the bonnet of their car, the nun driving tries to shake him off, to no avail, her driving becomming more and more eratic. Then she tries to blind him by using the windscreen wipers (anti freeze) but again to no avail, she turns to the other nun at the side of her and says " Show him your Cross, Show him your Cross", so the other nun, opens the window sticks 2 fingers up and shouts "Get off the [censored] car you knobhead"

Husband and wife just getting ready for bed when the wife stops and stares at herself in the mirror. "I'm old, fat and ugly....say something nice about me" she says. Husband says... "Your eye sight is bloody good"

A college professor stood before his Philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a jar of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open spaces between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar and of course the sand filled up ev…

Hey buddy, I have only just realised you were at Twist and you were sitting near us lot in the corner and I just thought you were a friend of a member off CTW. Looking at the piccies now I realised that it was you and I now feel like a pig ignorant bitch for not speaking to you or introducing myself to you. Hope you can forgive me !

Car Park for concorde Concorde stops off in Cardiff

Can you get the grasp ? It's EASY.

yes i know its early but i start work at 4am and that means getting up at 3:30. i would stay up but i got Digital tomorrow night so need some life in me for that!! Sweet Dreams

For FUCKS sake, come back from holiday and ...

The review is up hun, i know you look forward to it sooooo much!

Right, I've been buying King Pots since they were first out and had no problems. I get home tonight, I'm STARVING and I remember I have a King Pot in the cupboard (thanks for reminding me Maria), so I dont bother buying any more food on the way home ... Pick the pot up, feels rather light - in fact VERY light, open it up and its got about 10 strands of Noodles in ! The fact that its a King pot seems to have pushed me over the edge in posting this rather useless thread ! lol (this here for authenticity and to piss off the no-lol brigade)

Just received a text from a number I don't recognise... All it says is: "U wana shag soon?" Hmmmm..... My pulling technique just gets better and better, doesn't it?

Will get better pics next week with my proper camera and when he's worse for wear lol ... http://www.clubtheworld.uk/images/Blaine.zip

Anyone know any site's where I can get free polyphonic ringtones? Got a new phone today and the rigtones are lame as [censored]! Want my 'G'z and Hustlaz'ringtone back!

I have just been refused credit!!! Fuckin hell! Need a new PC for when I go back to college so I just phoned up Time to order the deal that's in today's papers, went thru all the motions and then the fella turned round asnd said 'Ha Ha, you've been refused mate' and hung up on me!! fuckin twat! I really dont understand it! I've got about a grand in the bank, Ive got a £3000 student loan on it's way and im still working full time (And will be workin part time when im in college). I know for a fact that my address isnt credit blacklisted as I got credit for my Mini-disk player at Curry's and paid that back in full a month early, and I know my old dears aint got a …

I'm going for a poo now.

when you walk, if your nike air bubble bursts?

What's this all about ? cunt@bukeytheloon.com

sell it to me!!

0 - 3 And Henry can't take penalties

Well, I seem to have the terrible lurgy going around after the weekend. My throat is red raw, and I've lost my voice. My ears are aching, and I've a terrible headache. Work are probably well pissed off with me too. I had to text my boss as I can't speak....

Almost all of you then! I just need to clear a few things up!, im not just interested in sex, im not desperate & i dont sleep around! if i wanna talk about sex in the smut forum then i will do! if i wanna [censored] every person that wants a shag, i will do..... now stop with the nasty PM's before i start to name drop, go and sort your own life out and pull your head outa mine!

their partner beg for them? Like when you tease them so much they are just begging for you to take them??

another of dance music's pioneering labels has gone now -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Message From Hooj From: Hooj Date: Thu, September 18, 2003 2:03 pm To: List Member Dear Hooj person, It is with deep regret that we have to inform you that Hooj Choons, as we know it, is no more. Following two years of fairly horrendous financial struggle, during which time we fought to trade our way out of mounting debt problems, we've had to call in the professionals to resolve matters once and for all. Naturally, this has come about as a direct result of: Sept 11/ any middle eastern conflict you care to name/ downloading…

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saturday: will probably be on the 0727 virgin train from wakefield which gets into derby at 0844 (apparently it leaves leeds at 0713). then at derby, get the all-in-one ticket (£25) from the Central Trains office, wherever the [censored] that is. the train from derby to uttoxeter leaves at 0931, arrives at 0956 and the bus to alton is at 1010. i am probably gonna book a ticket for the wakefield-derby part of the journey in advance (£15 return with railcard), cos it might be cheaper than buying it on the day.

Onto my third toilet roll this morning for my fecking nose. My ears are really, really starting to give me grief now too. And I'm becoming a right whinging [censored].

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they came across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and…

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hello mate, looking forward to TW4???? Of course we will take a wonder to the beach again!! Was wikid to see you on Sat, really made my day!!!! Those photos too, you totally utter git!! LOL Can't wait to see you at tidy mate!!