General Discussion

These two starving bums are walking through an alley when one of them sees a dead cat. He runs over, sits down and starts to eat the cat, tearing the meat from its limbs. Hhe says to the other bum, "Hey, I know you're hungry, too. Why don't you eat some of this cat?" "Hell no!!!" replies the second bum, "That cat's been dead for days, he's all stiff and cold and smelly!" The first bum says, "Okay, suit yourself," and continues to eat everything, skin, muscle, guts, all but the skeleton. A few hours later as they are walking down the street the first bum says, "Oh, I don't feel so good. I think there might have been something wrong with that cat." A…

Charlie's an embalmer, and one day he says to his boss, "There's a problem with Mrs. Whittaker." The boss says, "What's that?" Charlie says, "I was getting her cleaned up when I noticed a jumbo shrimp sticking out of her pussy." The boss says, "That's impossible. Show me." They go to the table where she's lying, Charlie flips back the sheet, points, and says, "See? There's a jumbo shrimp sticking out of her pussy." The boss takes a closer look and says, "You jerk, that's not a piece of shrimp. That's her clit." Charlie says, "Her clit? Well, it sure tasted like shrimp."

A bloke is walking down the road when he sees a wrinkly old guy in a rocking chair on his porch. The old man has got this beaming grin across his face and looks very content. Curious, the youngster goes over to the old man and asks what his secret is to have lived such a long and happy life. The old man turns around and says "Well, I get up have a few spliffs. Crack open a bottle of whisky...thats gone by the end of breakfast. Then I pop a few pills. Maybe a few more spliffs, I'm also partial to the odd bong. Then out comes the bags of coke. That'll take me through to the early afternoon when I'll open another bottle of whisky and come and sit on the porch" "[censored] …

went on some sites and found out info bout this top tv programme of the80's. unfortunately the ditz i am i forgot to het the addy. but... i did save a bit of info if u wanna take a peek... It's a story of friendship, courage, adventure, and danger as three children - Estaban, Zia and Tao accompanied by Spanish Navigator Mendoza and his sailors Pedro and Sancho, go on a search for the legendary Mysterious Cities of Gold. The original story was based loosely on Scott O Dells book The Kings Fifth and was made into a 39 part epic cartoon series in 1982. Since then, the series has become cult viewing all over the world with millions of fans. The story…

R u gettin paid extra for this?

does anyone know any good ones?? prefferably O2 but if any others are free minutes to any network then thats cool. not 3g though, lovely phones but im not sure i culd carry one around all day

any other words ur tryin to ban?

especially sitting in the cafe chill out area, great fun

[censored] brilliant mate! Ive not laffed this much in ages!

Found this & thought ther mite b sum strange person that finds it higly amusing Sainsbury condoms - making life taste better Tesco Condoms - every little helps Nike Condoms - Just do it Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk KFC Condoms - Finger Licking good Minstrels Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your hand Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load Abbey National Condoms - because life is complicated enough Coco Cola Condoms - The real thing Ever Ready Condoms - keep going and going Macintosh Condoms - It does more, it costs less, it's that simple Pringles Condoms - o…

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Mary suddenly jumped into the deep end. She sank like a stone to the bottom and stayed there. Jim promptly jumped in to save her. He swam to the bottom and pulled Mary out. When the medical director became aware of Jim's heroic act, he immediately ordered him to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered to be mentally stable. When he went to tell him the news, he said, "Jim, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of an…

have got bigger and blurrier?

Quality ... http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/

a slap in the face?

can't find my good luck charm, omg i'm soooo not gonna get this job without it, need help.

I have your avatar on my computer, Rick sent me all the pics he took after my birthday at Convergence in January. Did I meet you?

did manc meet up actually happen?

HANDBAGS BABY, YEAH ! ! !

funny or just offensive (the phrase)...

Spot the difference DareDevil Tony --------------- Mr Happy

Do you have a website with all your wildchild snaps on or are they going on here?

What was your fave Raggy Doll? Princess | Lucy | HiFi | Dotty | Claude | Back to Front | Sad Sack ?? lol..sorry bored and thought this might amuse me... L x

what did u think?

add this to ur ctw comments about u: 'an absolute star '

..it weighs 10 tun but it's all ready to be aired off to Ibiza

As promised... Lemme know if you want the full quality pix too.