General Discussion

A man goes to the doctor's for his wifes test results.. > > > > Mr Smith " I'm here for Mr's Smiths test results" > > > > Receptionist: " Oh! I'm sorry Mr Smith, theres been a problem. We have 2 > > sets of test results for a Mrs Smith and we don't know which is yours. > > I'm afraid its bad news or terrible news!. One set shows Alzheimers > > Disease and the other shows AID's" > > > > Mr Smith; "That's awful!! What should I do?" > > > > Receptionist: " The doctor suggestss you drop her off in the middle of > > town, if she finds her way home don't shag her!"

A Cruise in the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks. >There where only 3 survivors: Ian, Darren and Deirdre. >They manage to swim to a small island, where they lived for >a couple of years, doing what was natural for men and women >to do. After several years of casual sex all the time, >Deirdre felt really bad about what she had been doing. She >felt having sex with Ian and Darren was so bad that she >killed herself. > >It was very tragic but Ian and Darren managed to get >through it and after a while nature once more took its >inevitable course................... > >Well, a couple more years went by and …

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you sell wittle wabbits?" And the shopkeeper smiles and gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, then asks, "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fwuffy black wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle brown wabby over there?" The little girl in turn puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pyfon weally gives a phuck"

A deserter GI was running down a road escaping from two MPs. He came to a fork in the road and saw a nun standing there. He asked her, "Please Sister, may I hide under your skirts for a few minutes. I'll explain why later." The nun agreed to his request. Shortly thereafter, the two MPs came running along and asked her if she had seen a soldier running down the road. She replied, "He went that way". After the MPs disappeared, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said. "I can't thank you enough Sister, but you see I don't want to go to Iraq." The nun said she understood. The GI said, "I hope you don't think me rude or impertinent, but you h…

Where is everyone?

Liverpool 1 - Chelsea 2 (fuckin love it ) Kev

I love hip-hop, when i'm not listening to dance music, i always have it blasting in the background whilst i sort my emails etc, absolutly love the stuff. The man of the moment for me is Xzibit and his old 'Restless' album, top tuneage! Anyone else into hip-hop, i know i got my man Jon M with me!

are great arent they.

nice avator you look almost human

This guy is fooked up...BIG TIME. His websites are wierd, wonderful and amazing. Read a bit about him here. Luu-luu...look at some of these and you'll see what its like inside my head sometimes. http://www.larrycarlson.com/ http://www.ziplink.net/~s76/ http://www.virtualom.com/ http://www.birdhouse.org/images/carlson/ http://www.larrycarlson.com/medijate/index.htm

I like to play my gabba records on 45

I decided i might as well shave it off anyway so i could see what it looked like. my first thought was "aarggh I'm 10", but once i got used to it i prefer it. so i'm happy, what are your verdicts?

How long do u think it takes once u start driving to be fully confident on the road? Went for the 1st drive in my little car 2day and it was well scary.

called Sneak... its not a porn its a kids music magazine BUT it has matt from busted in a school shirt and tie and hes in his boxers.. i came all horny when i seen it so my flat mate bought me it... its got the him in his school uniform...looking at me as if to say..jilly ive been dirty. Looks like me, him and a bottle of poppers will be spending some quality time together this evening. And heres a pic of him just to remind me of how much of a dirty little boy he is... he needs to be punished i am WrOnG! xxx

my posts r [censored], i;ll try not to.

who is wanting to join me in foof idol?? we need girls to enter (lol) and boys to judge. yes ive had too much wine but i think its good winner can be the foof fighters

Hello, I have a list of tunes I would love on mp3 if anyone has them,the tunes I am after are old! Ie 1994-1996 I would even pay for these on mp3 if anyone has them so please could you let me know if you have any . I will put up the full listings for what tracks I am looking for if anyone is interested in helping out.... 1. Hard Concert - Get the power 2. Magic Marmalade - Again 'n' Again 3. Tycoon - Aeterna 4. Phase Generator - Suicide 5. Mato Grosso - Pyramid These are just a few of the sort of stuff I am looking for but I will put up more of my list if you can help out (I have 19 tunes in total I am looking for). Thanks for any help. Mark

have packed my shades and my best dancin shoes... and am off to Ibiza tomorrow stay friendly with each other while i'm gone andrew ps - thanks for the advice in the FAO forum

ive got a new msn addy, and cant get on ctw site with it. does it need changing at your end? ive changed it in my profile

We all know those cute little computer symbols called emoticons, >where: > > > > > > means a smile and > > > > > > is a frown. > > > > > > Sometimes these are represented by :-) and :-( respectively. > > > > > > Well, how about some assicons? > > > > > > Here it goes: > > > > > > (_!_) a regular ass > > > > > > (__!__) a fat ass > > > > > > (!) a tight ass > > > > > > (_*_) a sore ass > > > > > > {_!_} a swishy ass >…

fanx for an awsome weekend Don -- thanks for the effort! Tara for the guestlist, Luu luu for ordering me up there when feeling twatted. and Claire for the forum notice without any asking from me...!!!

How was your weekend? I would have asked in the other thread but it would have been So come on fill me in on what you got up to!

Have you entered the CTW fantasy footy league? If not i advise that you get your sorry spurs arse down there and register old boy!!!!! link is below! http://fantasy.premierleague.com/index.html Once your team is entered, click on the 'My Leagues' which you can find on the right hand side of 'My Team' or in 'Quick links' and enter the code lectrolux@opl_104718 to join Club The World. ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?

why on earth can u always hear strange noises when your in the house alone, is there an alliance that goes round making strange noises cos they know someones on their own and its fun to scare ppl out of the skin

iv got squares instead of letters!!!!!!!! not everywhere, i can just make out words but its annoying! does anyone know what it is?

and its all good

Just been looking at Frisky's website and found some photos of a few of you...I wont post the images coz for those of you on 56k dial up it will take ages to load. http://www.friskyuk.co.uk/passion.html http://www.friskyuk.co.uk/Images/passion/Original%20Files/160.jpg http://www.friskyuk.co.uk/Images/passion/Original%20Files/150.jpg http://www.friskyuk.co.uk/Images/passion/Original%20Files/122.jpg There are a few more but I cant be arsed to post links anymore...go have a look for yourself.

dancing in the rain naked but its not rainin

Two Mexicans have been lost in the desert and are knocking at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or such like, they suddenly spy a tree in the distance through the heat haze. As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly raw bacon, all sorts. "Hey, Pepe" says the first hombre (Don Pedro). "Ees a bacon tree!!!We're saved!!!" "You're right, amigo!" says Pepe. So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree, salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five fee…