General Discussion

A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down next to her, and asks her: "Can we have sex?" "No," she replies, "I'm married to God". She stands up, and gets off at the next stop. The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippie and says: "I can tell you how to get the nun to have sex with you!" "Yeah," says the hippie. "Yeah," say the bus driver. "She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray. So all you have to do is dress up in robe with a hood, put some of that luminous powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery claiming to be God." The hippie decides to give it a try, and arrives in the cemetery dressed as …

always hated, never missed but always remembered.. rip :

try cooking while been drunk i was starving last nite and i decided 2 cook myself some eggs and i manages 2 burn the side of my mouth it didn't hurt last boy did i feel it this morning lol *i'll get my coat*

I cannot comment on this but wot about u?

A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was one problem. The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" Or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table," or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot. Then, unfortunately, the ship sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in …

hello hows u???

slept all nite

DON'T CLICK HERE

Hillarious!

my car window was smashed last nite, n stereo and about 30 cd`s gone . all my best cd`s too,

just bought one in work cos maria mentioned em b4 and made me think havent had one in years but have they got smaller or are my hands now bigger?

"get ur tits out get ur tits out for the ladS!"

I am currenty wearing a pink bra and knickers accompanied with a sanatory towel. A zippy sonneti: skirt a quiksilver jumpa and a pink quiksilver bobble hat And i look a dick

....... c'mon Leroy ram it in my ass!!

bus stop, 7.30am, today, edinburgh, just off princes street, chucking it down with rain. guy walks past, checked shirt, trousers and shoes. eyes like massive satellite dishes, fluorescent glow-stick stains on his shirt and massive dirty marks on his trousers. we ask him how it went, etc, predictably comes back with "ehhh Ferry Corsten, pure amazin, like, eh", then we ask how the sundissential arena was, ask him if he seen glazby. "aye man first time i seen him, the music, it's just... like.... evil, man. just pure evil, ken? just like something out of hell, like. canny describe it... it was just like soo hard as [censored]." another satisfied customer?

Miss u babe!

i keep hearing that random sound clip...of like a horn or brass thing going off.. i remeber sumone else getting the same thing, and creamy saying theyd won a teddy...tht he was pisin around..hmm any clues, help..exorcists??..WHERE THE FUK IS CREMAY WENI NEED HIM!!??

or as it's now known, Veet is [censored]. I used it on my feet 2 days ago and already I have stubble. Next time it's waxing for me!

A company in the states has offered me a 50,000$ vinyl press investment for one of my choons, i cant let to much out at this moment in time. This is the second time they have offered it to me, i turned it down the first time, due to my depression etc, which i still have, but it looks like this is a way forward. This is also the reason why none of you have recieved any demo cd's off me and why my flash music player is no longer on my site, due to all this legal rights bullshite. Thou once all this legal stuff is sorted, i can continue to post cd's. Both myself and my vocalist (Catherine Peterson) are very excited bout this, and i shall keep you informed…

Totally addicted to at the minute?? i'm addicted 2 jaffacakes i cant get enough of them what bout u lot??

ello all just thought id let u know that if your bored then have a listen to me djing LISTEN HERE--> http://www.infusionfm.co.uk

Tara says: dyah know what i did?! Tara says: coz i don't?!!?! Tara says: arghhhh Happy Laurece says: o dear Happy Laurece says: erm - well i remember u, tasha and chris all gettin in she shower together Happy Laurece says: and u were all gone 4 a good hour Tara says: what!???????????? Tara says: really?!!?!? Tara says: at my house?! Happy Laurece says: yeah Tara says: [censored] hell Tara says: i don't remember that! Tara says: none of it Happy Laurece says: took ages to clear up the mess Happy Laurece says: u 3 left behie Tara says: the mess?! Happy Laurece …

Whilst on one of my searchs for sarcasm on t'internet, I found this, which really amused me. Pope John Paul II described sarcasm as a modern form of martyrdom, suggesting a sarcastic person delights in "isolating the righteous with mockery and irony". The rest is found here. http://www.cathnews.com/news/302/116.php Strange but apparently true.

I'm gettin to the stage where i can plat mine- matted poo an extra Who wants to rim me

Carl Nicholoson, whats all that about! Its on the banner for incision!!

Its been well worth the long hours writing reports and revising for exams. Three years after starting I can finally put all I learnt about marketing cos I start my new job tonite. . . At a pub

Cheezy clubbing - hahah what a JOKE! All fun tho! Altho I must say, I am now up to date with todays charts *toca me's it*

back to bed