General Discussion

Many many years ago when I was twenty-three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my very life. My daughter was my mother, For she was my father's wife. To complicate the matters worse, Although it brought me joy, I soon became the father Of a bouncing baby boy. My little baby then became A brother-in-law to dad. And so became my uncle, Though it made me very sad. For if, he was my uncle, Then that also made him brother To the widow's …

When you take a long time, you're slow. When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough. When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview. When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked. When you don't do it, you're lazy. When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick. When your boss is on a day off sick, he must be very ill. When you make a mistake, you're an idiot. When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human. When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority. When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative. When you ta…

Talking Dog For Sale This guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there."You talk?" he asks."Yep," the mutt replies."So, what's your story?"The mutt looks up and says "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leader, cause no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting aro…

HOW TO MAKE LOVE Ingredients: 4 Laughing eyes 4 Well-shaped legs 4 Loving arms 2 Firm milk containers 2 Nuts 1 Fur-lined mixing bowl 1 Firm banana Directions: 1. Look into laughing eyes. 2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms. 3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently. 4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. For best results. Continue to knead milk containers. 5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably NOT overnight). 6. The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana does not soften, repeat steps 3-5 …

too fcuking quiet on here

David Beckham wakes up one morning, showers and puts on his best Armani tracksuit, ready for another hard day's work of being an over-privileged, tattooed prat. Catching sight of himself in the mirror, he thinks "By God,David, you're looking good today." He admires the fine cut of his tracksuit, the healthy sheen of his tan and flexes his biceps. "Feeling good too", he notes looking proudly at the firm swell of muscle underneath the Manchester Utd shirt he's wearing. He goes down to the kitchen where The "Posh", massively overrated, manufactured for the girlie market, singer hands him a Golden, Diamond Cut bowl, of Golden Grahams. You're looking fit this mo…

now, i kinda think they r useful meself, and altho this isnt a great topic in here ...im just getting the hang of DOS and becoming aware of various things i cud do...anyone got any sites...or tips, or just wanna voice out on the credability of hackers....please do, im bored!!! oh and wen will the admin let me change my [censored] name...ive kinda quit smoking so bit silly isnt it?!! ....

Okay, got me worried at first... Then I worked out Jon M had to be joking when he said SS was [censored] in this post. Think he got the wrong forum though!

two queer men living together.. One morning one of them gets up & catches the other one wanking into a condom *What are you doing/* He asks *oh, just preparing your lunch!* the other replied!!!

Have a look... http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hereford/worcs/2936390.stm

An inflatable pupil goes to his inflatable school and is having a really bad day. Bored in his history lesson, he gets up and walks out. Walking down the corridor, he sees the inflatable headmaster walking towards him and he pulls a knife out and stabs him. He runs out of the school. As he gets outside, he thinks again "I hate school" and pulls his knife out and stabs the inflatable school. He runsoff to his inflatable home. Two hours later, his inflatable mum is knocking at his inflatable bedroom door with the inflatable police. Panicking, inflatable boy pulls out the knife and stabs himself. Later on that evening, he wakes up in an inflat…

Well word gets round fast that im having afterparty... now its true i may be having a mini party but need to know how many ppl are coming cos cant have too many ppl back. One rule that must be abided... is no smoking in the flat must be done outside on back step cos i dont smoke! I have got a smoke machine and lighting rig and plenty of tunes. If ppl dont mind a pound for me lecky mtr or we cant have the lights on lol. Know this sounds cheeky but I clear the place up afterwards which i dont mind doing, so u folks can enjoy yourself! Also if peeps let me have a little something to keep me going as well!!! LOL!!!! Anyway please use this post to see if your coming and …

http://www.clubtheworld.uk/cgi-bin/ImageFolio3/imageFolio.cgi?action=view&link=UK_Events/Goodgreef/2002-11-29&image=CTW_IMG_0366.jpg&img=32&tt= The girl on the right..... i recognise her! And that bloke behind her, he has a mighty big head!

love the website matey very funny also can i get one of your mix cd's???please

morning everyone xx

If you have 2 browsers open & one is say in the FAO's section and the other in Random Bollox - what does your status show if someone is looking at Whos Online?

we didn't even get 1 point

Evening everyone, am well looking forward to 2moz, those of u who i havn't met i look forward to finally meeting u, and those who i have....well i look forward to seeing u again! I will be with mate Ste Smurf, who drives a yellow sunnyd car, u mighta seen it around, and we will get drunk. oh so very drunk. fresh.

every body want you all to sit up and take notice of sarahs nite coming up and it is expected of everyone available to try and make an effort to get there!!!! no whinging or crap excuses if your not there then scream is being sent to find you and you all know what hes like on gb!!!!! lol so please make an effort!!!! thanxs!! Click Here for The Night you have all been Waiting for!

Bargin @ £20 Pay as you go Orange Text saver option. One off payment of £20 gives you 5 txts a day for a year and £5 credit

What ya up to? I just asked to go to an illegal rave with all my mates! And my GB didnt turn up this morning *ahem tara* plus we're leaving for sunny Leeds @ 11am 2moz..... it didnt seem like a v.good idea!

July 20th (Sunday) - Club Cruise on The Mersey to Rave at Fort Perch Rock! Sin:ergy & Addiction present a full days clubbing experience like no other! - Club Cruise aboard the Royal Iris @ 2pm from Seacombe (4 decks on 2 decks! and DJs a'plenty) - Returning to New Brighton for a Barbeque on the Beach - Rave in Fort Perch Rock open-air Napoleonic fortress til 2am! DJ's include Paul Glazby, Superfast Oz, ASA, GRH, Andy Whitby, Psyche, The Naughty Boys and Justin Bourne. Tickets are £25, and on-sale from next week at Sin:ergy and Addiction events, Cyberdog (M/cr), and www.ClubSinergy.com.

Just moved all my record collection from under my deck table to the shelving area and bloody hell i've found well loads of tracks i forgot i had or have no idea where they came from...classics such as: Trauma Vs. Fergie - They're out to get me Barabas & OD1 - Jack of Klubz Progress feat. Boy Wunda - Everybody Dario G - Sunshine Nas - If i ruled the world Alice Deejay - Back in my life Classics!

Hey here is a link to download a new msn skin, which when ur signed in instead of saying that says ur alive and tripping, when its signing in says taking the red pill, u certainly have to see it, heres the link MSN Skin HAPPY TRIPPING. Richard

.... but on the other hand its quite big!!

Follow the instructions to find your new name. The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey: The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names... Use the THIRD letter of your first name to determine your New first name: a = poopsie b = lumpy c = buttercup d = gidget e = crusty f = greasy g = fluffy h = cheeseball i = chim-chim j = stinky k = flunky l = boobie m = pinky n = zippy o = goober p = doofus q = slimy r = loopy s = snotty t = tootie u = dorkey v = squeezit w = oprah x = skipper y = di…

if we had a prom who wud be prom king and quen?

Are we doing on here on a Saturday night ? We should be out clubbin My excuse is lack of cash (loads of bill to pay ) What's your excuse ?

just put a cd on that my friend left. it just says bosch on it. has anybody heard it? its a sound cd, sum real good scratchin on it

That first girl looks like she loves herself a bit - she struts round like she thinks shes on a catwalk