General Discussion

A lady walks into a Furniture Store. She browses around, then spots the perfect leather sofa and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns back, sure enough, there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely leather sofa?" He answers, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it, you are going to [censored] when you hear the price."

A lady walks into a Furniture Store. She browses around, then spots the perfect leather sofa and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns back, sure enough, there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely leather sofa?" He answers, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it, you are going to [censored] when you hear the price."

80-year-old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what 's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."

80-year-old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what 's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."

80-year-old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what 's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."

A potato has three young daughters, who all grow up to be beautiful young women, and the day finally comes when the father has to send them out into the world. He sits them all down and says "I want you all to go out and find yourselves good men who will look after you, and provide for you". And so, the young lady-potatoes head out into the world to find good strong potatoes to settle down with. Within a month, the eldest had come back, with a husband in tow, a Maris Piper no less, and the father says "Very good my dear, a good strong family line, these Maris Pipers", and the daughter goes away happy. A few months later, the second daughter returns with a King…

A potato has three young daughters, who all grow up to be beautiful young women, and the day finally comes when the father has to send them out into the world. He sits them all down and says "I want you all to go out and find yourselves good men who will look after you, and provide for you". And so, the young lady-potatoes head out into the world to find good strong potatoes to settle down with. Within a month, the eldest had come back, with a husband in tow, a Maris Piper no less, and the father says "Very good my dear, a good strong family line, these Maris Pipers", and the daughter goes away happy. A few months later, the second daughter returns with a King…

A potato has three young daughters, who all grow up to be beautiful young women, and the day finally comes when the father has to send them out into the world. He sits them all down and says "I want you all to go out and find yourselves good men who will look after you, and provide for you". And so, the young lady-potatoes head out into the world to find good strong potatoes to settle down with. Within a month, the eldest had come back, with a husband in tow, a Maris Piper no less, and the father says "Very good my dear, a good strong family line, these Maris Pipers", and the daughter goes away happy. A few months later, the second daughter returns with a King…

Two vampires, walking around town, starving - haven't eaten for days and really getting desperate. Eventually, they go past a rubbish site and like anyone in such a desperate situation, start rummaging through it. One of them comes across some used Tampax, looks at it, and says to the other one: Shall we at least have some tea?

Two vampires, walking around town, starving - haven't eaten for days and really getting desperate. Eventually, they go past a rubbish site and like anyone in such a desperate situation, start rummaging through it. One of them comes across some used Tampax, looks at it, and says to the other one: Shall we at least have some tea?

Two vampires, walking around town, starving - haven't eaten for days and really getting desperate. Eventually, they go past a rubbish site and like anyone in such a desperate situation, start rummaging through it. One of them comes across some used Tampax, looks at it, and says to the other one: Shall we at least have some tea?

There was this couple that was married for 20 years, and every time they had sex the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was stupid. She figured she would break him out of the crazy habit. So one night,while they were in the middle of doing it, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a dildo. She gets completely upset. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years. You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says, calmly, "I'll explain the dildo .......... if you can explain our three kids..

There was this couple that was married for 20 years, and every time they had sex the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was stupid. She figured she would break him out of the crazy habit. So one night,while they were in the middle of doing it, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a dildo. She gets completely upset. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years. You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says, calmly, "I'll explain the dildo .......... if you can explain our three kids..

There was this couple that was married for 20 years, and every time they had sex the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was stupid. She figured she would break him out of the crazy habit. So one night,while they were in the middle of doing it, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a dildo. She gets completely upset. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years. You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says, calmly, "I'll explain the dildo .......... if you can explain our three kids..

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

Three men were talking about their teenage daughters: The first says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and found a packet of cigarettes. I didn't even know she smoked". The second says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank". Then the third speaks up. "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a penis".

Three men were talking about their teenage daughters: The first says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and found a packet of cigarettes. I didn't even know she smoked". The second says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank". Then the third speaks up. "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a penis".

Three men were talking about their teenage daughters: The first says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and found a packet of cigarettes. I didn't even know she smoked". The second says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank". Then the third speaks up. "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a penis".

http://members.aol.com/couplandesque/quizzes/sbtb.htm I Wish i looked like her

http://members.aol.com/couplandesque/quizzes/sbtb.htm I Wish i looked like her

http://members.aol.com/couplandesque/quizzes/sbtb.htm I Wish i looked like her

Well...he makes me Jizz.

Well...he makes me Jizz.

Well...he makes me Jizz.

http://community.clubtheworld.uk/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB5&Number=157245&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=1

http://community.clubtheworld.uk/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB5&Number=157245&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=1

http://community.clubtheworld.uk/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB5&Number=157245&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=1

Where are u? Can u send me that oopma loompa ch00n sumtime plzzzz!