This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

 

NAME: Greg Bulmash

 

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

 

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

 

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

 

EDUCATION: Yes.

 

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

 

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

 

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

 

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

 

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

 

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

 

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

 

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

 

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

 

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

 

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

 

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

 

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

 

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

 

SIGN HERE: Aries.

as opposed to a what..mcdonalds stuffed-animal establishment?

 

but amusing.

What are you on about now?

" McDonald's fast-food establishment "

 

what other establishments do they have?

Edited January 21, 200520 yr by Phil rr

lol

  Phil rr said:

" McDonald's fast-food establishment  "

 

what other establishments do they have?

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Well alledgedly Old McDonald had a farm....maybe he started hiring.

well that was his dad - old mcdonald.

 

where else dyu think they get the burgers from..?

Tesco.

I can see how that would work.... The McDonalds Ross economy size Big Mac.

I love 'Phil r and Ginge' conversations.

classic - think i saw this before but thanks for posting ginge - FUNNY AS FOOKKKKKKKKKKKKK

seen that before with even more questions on, it is well funny though!

SIGN HERE: Aries.

 

lmao - cant believe this is actualy REAL though

 

lmao

 

lmao (for good measure)

  Phil rr said:

I can see how that would work.... The McDonalds Ross economy size Big Mac.

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If it was "economy size" it would be a big mac though would it.

 

Imagine going into MaccyD's and asking for a "not so big but still as cold and tasteless" mac.

 

Just think if McD's was sponsered by Tesco. They'd keep changing the positions of the counter and once every few months they'd do a "buy 2 and get a free jar of marmite" deal

economy size supermarket burger = huge McD's burger.

 

if mcdonalds was sponsered by tesco, then you would be able to get exactly the same product, at 2/3 the price, called a Tesco mac, or a fillet o' Tesco.

 

Or Tesco fries.

 

or tesco cola.

 

it would taste nicer than the real mcdonalds product. After that McDonalds own brand sales would go down, and Tesco would buy up the now dying mcdonalds brand, and be rename McTesco's.