After her fifth child, Lucy decided that she should have some cosmetic

surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory because

her womanhood was dangling a bit too low and looked like a ripped out

fireplace. Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that,

with five children now being the limit, she'd tidy things with a nip hereand

a tuck there so it looked more like a piggy bank slot rather than a badly

packed kebab.

 

Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three roses

at the end of the bed.

Who are these from?" she asked the nurse, "They're very nice but I'm a bit

confused as to why I've received them".

"Well" said the nurse, "The first is from the surgeon - the operation went

so well and you were such a model patient that he wanted to say thanks". Ah,

that's really nice," said Lucy.

"The second is from your husband - he's delighted the operation was such a

success that he can't wait to get you home. Apparently it'll be the first

time he's touched the sides for years and he's very excited!"

"Brilliant!" said Lucy "And the third? That's from Eric in the burns unit"

said the nurse.

"He just wanted to say thanks for his new ears."

 

 

fucking CLASS!

lmao

Wonder if he's called c*nt ears