How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably

never

be able to support you.

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows

them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

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Why do men fart more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to

build up the required pressure.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the

front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

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I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes

a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

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Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

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Women will never be equal to men

until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut,

and

still think they are sexy.

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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Amen to that.

funny stuff

haha sexist cunt

thats me

i meant to say sexy cunt sorry

Now ur just lying.

haha wine does strange things to my taste

In vino veritas my dear.

hha too true

I'm on the ball today.

dont fall off it you cld hurt urself

he would have a big fall if he fell off lol

well itll still only make him 5ft stood on the ball

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Why do men fart more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to

build up the required pressure.

-------------------------------------------------------------------!

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the

front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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