I've got a load of monkey assistants on order, specifically to help those of you stuck at w.ork.

 

Who wants one, and what special skills should they have.?

 

 

The workshop I was in last summer, the guys wanted one that could run about and grab screwdrivers when needed, and could also make a decent cup of tea.

Oh me me me...I want one!

 

The monkey needs to be able to sit in front of a computer all day...looking very very board then occasionly suggesting that they should go and get a bottle of wine and trying to think of a reason to celebrate!

A monkey that could mix a decent Tequila and orange! Quality!

 

Or a monkey that could do the whole "Ten of you, one of me, I make that Pimms o'clock" thing would be a nice change.

 

Could refresh everyone in the office at once.

did you ever spank your monkey?

Only if he'd done something wrong

 

 

Or I was having trouble sleeping

Me Me Me!!

 

Can you make it sweet talk my boss into giving me a pay rise!! and have more days off!

 

That would be great!

 

 

So long as it can do my job in a fairly respectable manner, and not [censored]/piss all over my desk, then thats it.

 

Oh, it should be able to pull a good pint of Red Stripe too.

 

And roll a nice spliff.

 

And drive me too/from my nights out.

 

And not laugh at me when I can't remember what I was trying say.

 

And cook me dinner.

 

Not too much to ask I don't think.

 

 

Ill pay you treble if you can train me one to knock fcuk outta my boss and any other old cun* in the offices who pisses me off ?

 

Cheers

So long as it can do my job in a fairly respectable manner, and not [censored]/piss all over my desk, then thats it.

 

Oh, it should be able to pull a good pint of Red Stripe too.

 

And roll a nice spliff.

 

And drive me too/from my nights out.

 

And not laugh at me when I can't remember what I was trying say.

 

And cook me dinner.

 

Not too much to ask I don't think.

 

 

That's not a monkey you want matt, talk to your girlfriend

true comment wub

 

she can do all them things too.

 

god!!!! better not tell her that shes on the verge of being replaced by a monkey.

 

m.

hehehe.....she might try even harder then

 

 

Or leave you. On second thoughts, best not to mention it.

Can I have a monkey that skins up2? At the mo I rely on my bf but he talks to much so a monkey would be better.

lol @ pepsi

 

well said!!!