F1

Modena, Italy:

The Ferrari F1 Team fired their entire Pit- Crew Yesterday.

The announcement was followed by Ferrari's Decision to take advantage

of the English Government's "[censored] For the Dole" Scheme and hire

unemployed youths from Liverpool. The decision to hire them was

brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths in Liverpool

were able to remove a set of car wheels in less than 6 seconds without

proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8

seconds.

This was thought to be an excellent yet bold move by Ferrari Management,

as most races are won & lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage

over every team.

However Ferrari expectations were easily exceeded, as during the Crews

first practice session; not only were "da boyz from Bootle" able to

change the tyres in under 6 seconds but within 12 seconds they had

resprayed,

rebadged, and had sold the vehicle over to the McLaren Team for four

dozen Stella's and a gram of Charlie.