So I go and spend £100 on a pub crawl for my birthday, spend 15 hours drinking, and why the fcuk do i come home feeling f*cking depressed.

Like, only a couple of friends bother turning up, and they disappear or get off with each other, leaving me by myself, on my birthday, bored out of my tits, what a great f*ucking celebration.

£100, 23 pubs, and i fell more depressed than i did the last time i tried to slit my wrists (and typically failed), why the f*ck do i bother?

it's like all my friends deserted me on my birthday, the majority didn't even bother to turn up, those that did, f*cked off later on, leaving me bored sh*tless, then my best friend has a go at me for being boring, because i sit by myself, because she is snogging my other close friends brother, like what else do i do when i am by myself on my birthday, like surely on someone's birthday you look after them, and treat them like a prince/princess, well I have tried to in the past, never again.

Maybe I can only rely on my family, maybe I should give up being a northerner in the south, it seems like the people i care about, can't give a stuff about me, and i should go back up north and live with my family, give up my idea of having a nice life down south, because lets face it, there isn't much down here for a northerner, except a sense of being able to walk round a council estate for days and not get mugged, while up north i would get mugged at least once a month in suburban areas. And i would have no independence.

What the fcuk is going on, when i go on a huge pub crawl, and invite all my "friends" and i come back and feel like suicide (although i won't).

I'm normally the one to give support, not need it, I'm not used to speaking like this, especially not to everyone in the world, I just feel like giving up, cos hell, the way the world is going, were all going to be nuked soon enough anyway.

I was planning on giving up smoking, and going on a diet and fitness thing on sunday, cos i have become so f*cking uglier than i already was, but balls to that.

Oh, and i applied for big brother a couple of days ago, like i can cope with that sh*t, if i can't cope with life now.

I don't know why i am posting this here, i just want to get it out of my head, and at least if one person replies, than it might cast some light over the shadow of life i feel at the moment.

 

It's always the case that the worst nights are the ones that are meant to be organised properly from the start! How old are you by the way?

 

I don't think you're alone in this by the way. I think there's a rare few of us who have squillions of folk out for their birthdays.

 

Lesson to be learnt from this? Don't do pub crawls. Get together with two or three of your best mates and hit some club somewhere til the wee hours. Guaranteed you'll have a better time...

Favourite DJs & Producers eddie halliwell at the moment

 

Im welll pissed! SO all i can say is you should be @ Serious London sumwhere now!

 

If u feel dwpressed! go see a Gp see wot he;she says!

 

Raed tje drusg awreabess forum!

 

Im a bit pissed at the mo but *hugz* to tya anyway!!

 

Will speak to you soon about it, u know where i am if u ever wana chat like i say to anyone im a pretty good listener and do actually have some useful advice for most things!!

well you can only help yourself, dont rely on other people so much.

this should be moved to the serious issues or somthing.