proud 2 b british

Very proud to be British because:

Only in Britain can you get a pizza to your house quicker than an ambulance

Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy their cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburger, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the Drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn-mowers in the garage

Only in Britain do we use answer machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

Not to mention -

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last year believing Christmas decorations were chocolate

British hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of their feet.

18 Brits have had serious burns in 2000 trying on new jumpers with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottle of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

And finally in 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull while throwing up into the toilet.

Edited February 9, 200322 yr by toxicdave