Some silly jokes

 

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.

One turns to the other and says "dam".

 

Two peanuts walk into a bar

One was salted.

 

A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says, "I'll serve you but don't start anything"

 

A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "sorry we don't serve food"

 

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

 

a man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says

"a beer please and one for the road"

 

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

one says to the other "does this taste funny to you?"

 

"doc I cant stop singing 'the green green grass of home'

"that sounds like tom Jones syndrome"

"is it common?"

"its not unusual"

 

two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

one says "ive lost my electron"

the other says "are you sure?"

the first replies "yes im positive"

 

i went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but i couldnt find any.

 

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.

He was pulled in by a strong current.

 

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered in nuts and hundreds and thousands.

Police say he topped himself.

 

Two fish are in a tank.

One says to the other, "i'll man the guns, you drive"

 

Olden but Golden.

i love the clown one

QUOTE

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong current.

 

One of my all time favourites

QUOTE

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "i'll man the guns, you drive"

 

Hahaha.