Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint.

 

Officer Paddy stops them and tells them:

 

“It is illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro, Quattro means four”

 

“Quattro is just the name of the automobile” the Englishman retorts disbelievingley.

 

“Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry five people”

 

“You can not pull that one on me, “ replies Paddy

 

“Quattro means four, you have five people in your car and are therefore breaking the law”

 

The Englishman replies angrily “ You Idiot! Call your supervisor over, I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!”

 

“Sorry” responds Paddy “Murphy is busy with those two guys in the Fiat Uno”

 

Classic! LOL

there;s more, hang on

A man travelling on a modern place was in urgent need of using the toilet. Each time he tried to use it, it was occupied.

 

The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the ladies but she cautioned him against pressing any of the buttons.

 

The man agreed and rushed into the toilet to relive himself. He noticed four buttons marked “WW, “WA”, “PP” and “ATR”. Making a fateful mistake many men make in disregarding what a woman says, the man allowed his curiosity to get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.

He carefully pressed the first button, marked “WW” and immediately water sprayed his entire arse.

He thought “struth, the gals have really got it made”

 

Still curious, he pressed the second button, Marked “WA” and warm air dried his arse gently and quickly. He thought that was out of this world.

The Button marked “PP” caused a large powder puff to powder his arse with a sweet smelling silky powder.

 

Well naturally he couldn’t resist pressing the last button marked “ATR”.

When he wok up in the hospital, he panicked and buzzed the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, “What happened? The last thing I remember I was in the ladies aboard a plane. The nurse replied “Yes, and you were having a great time until you pressed the “ATR” button”

 

“What the hell does “ATR” stand for?” asked the man. “Automatic Tampon Remover, Your penis is under your pillow” replied the nurse

.........