At first I was afraid, I was petrified.

By the ugly wanker that was lying by my side.

I would've drunk a little less,

I would've tried to keep my head,

If I'd known for just one second I'd be in your crusty bed

 

I tried to go, walk out the door.

But I laughed so hard at your small knob that I've fallen on

the floor.

Your butts a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out disgrace,

But I'd rather

look at that, than at your f*cking ugly face..!

I want to go, I've got to leave.

Your talk of chicks and football really makes me want to

heave.

I only know I've got to stop drinking spirits and to stop

the

beer,

Coz when I looked at you last night, you looked just like

that Richard Gere!

 

I can't believe, that we shagged.

You should be wearing concrete shoes or simply bound and

gagged.

I'm f*cking off right now, I'm jumping on the flippin' train

And I'm not stopping till I'm home and washed your dribblies

down the

drain.

Please let me go, I feel quite sick,

We had the worst sex in the world and you're an ugly prick,

I should have shagged your gorgeous mate, at least he's got

a

lovely flat.

But no I go and trust the booze and now I'm stuck with you,

you twat.

It's time to go, run out the door.

You look so ugly it should really be against the law.

I'm going to give up all the booze,

I'm going to have no stupid fun,

Coz waking up beside your mug,

Just makes me want to be a nun!

 

CLASSIC!!!

 

there's a male version to this too, i will try and find it, but very funny

i like it

One word for that "Superb"