When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended

>victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber

>James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered

>down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

>***********************************************

>

>The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat

>cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a

>claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence,

>sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the

>machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

>

>**********************************************

>A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car

>during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a

>woman hadtaken the space.

>

>Understandably, he shot her.

>

>***********************************************

>

>After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver

>found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting

>from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his

>incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered

>everyone

>waiting there a free ride.

>He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the

>staff that the patients were very excitable and

>prone to bizarre fantasies.

>The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days. Man, I like that

>one...

>

>******************************************

>An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering

>from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train.

>When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that

>he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a

>moving

>train before he was hit.

>

>*********************************************

>

>A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give

>her an examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen

>abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say "Your

>daughter is pregnant." The mother turned red with fury and she

>argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would

>never compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy.

>

>The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.

>The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the

>window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am

>paying attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened,

>a star appeared in the East, and three wise men came.

>

>And I was hoping that they would show up again."

ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah a ha ha a ah hhhhhh ha!

Haha, I love those stories.

 

Here's another one. Taken from the Darwin Awards.

 

A man who, after his car broke down, walked on to a railway line to use his mobile phone, put a hand over his ear to blot out unwanted sound, and didn't hear the oncoming train.

 

And yes he was American.

 

 

WELL uve made my day a bit humorous-cheers

Heres some more from the Darwin Awards

 

Fir Kills Tree Trimmer

England | A tree trimmer decided to save time, and throw the pruned branches directly into a fire he built near the base of the tree. Predictably, the tree caught fire, putting an end to further time-saving innovations.

 

Wounded Wire Bites Back

Pennsylvania | Daniel was practicing his marksmanship by shooting at electrical insulators, whose function is to hold electrical wires aloft. Eventually the shattered targets were no longer able to do their job, and a high-voltage wire fell to the ground, sending Daniel to his shocking demise.

 

Wrong and Wronger

Ukraine | A man was walking his dog, when a Police Academy cadet pointed out that dogs on a public street must be leashed and muzzled. The men began to argue, until the dog owner pulled out a military hand grenade and threw it to the cadet's feet. His well-trained dog immediately fetched it back, and man and dog met the same messy fate.

 

Bees 1, Humans 0

Brazil | A farmer decided to burn a beehive out of his orange tree. He protected his head from bee stings by sealing a plastic bag tightly around his neck. His worried wife found him dead a few hours later. He had forgotten to put breathing holes in the bag.

 

They are all found here.

http://www.darwinawards.com

lol i love this one

 

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman hadtaken the space.

 

Understandably, he shot her.

 

lmfao!!!!!!!