My magic watch tells me you've got no underwear on...

 

You have?. It must be running a little fast then!

 

 

Apologies if it's an old one but it appeals to my infantile sense of humour

oops - appeals to mine as well...

I'm waiting for an opportunity to try out my new one;

 

"If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

 

Might try it on Friday so watch out laydees!

PMSL - yeah, that one's funny too...

Do u [censored] 4 parcel force cos im sure i saw u checking out my package!

the word of the day is LEGS, lets go back to mine and spread the word

Not sure what chat up lines are as I assume they are unique per invididual ?! Will have a go though ...

 

"Have you seen the state of my ear wax ???"

nice james, nice lol

lol @ James - Get your coat. You've pulled hun!

 

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

 

now that is funny!!! and creepy!! but more funny!

 

how about.....

 

'do you sleep on your stomach? can I?'

Do you want to see the the soles of your shoes in my wingmirrors!!

 

or

 

go up to said female

and say "i'm hung like a donkey, think about it" Never tried it myself but my mate recons it gets the ladies thinking in the over 50's bar

That dress would look lovely on my bedroom floor ...

Want to dance? Go on then, I want to chat to your mate.