he doesnt want [censored] floating around in the bath with him

he could just dip his arse in!

use the kitchen sink

 

sit on the edge... arse half in... tap positioned so the water runs down your arse crack...

 

u gotta wash ur posts int here, = contact (be it remote) with food = MING

Use an old dishcloth and throw it out

My cat

how bout ure hand or even the carpet!

 

this is getting rough lol

Joking aside, that's what they do in some countries (wiping their arse with their hand!!)

Hence they always use the OTHER hand to eat with.

Maybe this is what Tom was asking originally, but:

What if you run out of loo roll in a public toilet?

 

I once remember desperately searching through my wallet for something to wipe my arse on. I managed to find a couple of receipts and bank statements so they had to do! Nice

I always carry a pack of 12 tissues around with me, incase such a problem would arise!

Not sure if 12 tissues is enough for a bloke! It usually takes about 5 tissues just to clean the seat in a public toilet, before you even dare to sit on it!

hover over it, lol

effort lol

Solution found:

 

Old edition of the local Student newspaper. Quality journalism.

 

...

 

Only problem is that newspaper doesn't flush.

 

...

 

MING

 

 

Cheers for the suggestions tho

 

oh and if I run out in a club then it's down to sitting in the correct way and hoping for an "ace". I shall leave you to figure out what that is.

 

Di I get a prize for suggesting the chosen option?