How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

 

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

 

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

 

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

 

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

 

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has Gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

 

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

 

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

 

 

8. Dont use any punctuation marks

 

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

 

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

 

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

 

12. Sing along at the opera.

 

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

 

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

 

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

 

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

 

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"

 

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

 

19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

 

 

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

 

 

Lol ive done that so many times b4, just to piss my old boss off the WANKER lol sorry for the naughty word

Nice 1

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

 

i'm well equanted with this 1

funny as [censored]

 

im gonna have to read this post on a comedown see if i can crack a smile!

20. When queing at a cafe to get ya lunch, and you see the guy in front of you pick up a sandwich, tap him on the shoulder and say wouldn't eat anything from here mate.

 

 

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

 

When I grow up and have to go out and get a job, I want to do this at my desk

Haha! Nice

Here are a couple a mate used to do at work:

 

21. Every so often, stand up for no reason. After a few seconds, sit down and carry on with your work as if nothing had happened.

 

22. (For people who work with computers!) Listen to / watch a nearby work colleague out of the corner of your eye and imitate them. I.e. whenever they type, you type. Whenever they click the mouse, do the same. Whenever they pause, you don't do anything either. If they cough, you cough too! See how long it takes for them to notice...

LMAO nice 1 Liquideyes

21. Every so often, stand up for no reason. After a few seconds, sit down and carry on with your work as if nothing had happened.

 

i do that 1 alot n all

 

 

i remember i really scared my superviser in my last job cuz 4 a good hour or so, every 5 min interval i would suck air in through my teath like that bloke in 'scilence of the lambs'

 

i could c my superviser looking v cautiously @ me int he corner of his eye and i even started to twitch nervously

Haha Mr_Happy, could be a great way of deterring your boss from coming to check on you all the time! (You could keep a bloodied chainsaw on your desk too, to add to the effect.)

Another wikkid one is when you're in the lift at work, whisper "no ... I dont wanna. NO no more killing" as if there's voices in your head.

 

Then stand and giggle as everyone else gives you a VERY wide berth !!!

 

Or randomly wander around claiming to have lost your grannie. Guy I know did it for a whole hour in the pub. Silly man