Switzerland 8th January 2003 :

 

UEFA today stunned the football world by handing out a severe penalty to

England international Lee Bowyer after finding him guilty of stamping on an

opponent during an UEFA cup match. Bowyer has been banned from European

competition for six games and made to sign for West Ham United.

The combination of the six game ban and enforced transfer to West Ham means

effectively Bowyer has been banned from European football for a minimum of

FIFTEEN years.

 

Bowyer's contract entitles him to a £1m bonus payment should West Ham escape

relegation, the contract is also believed to include payments should he find

Lord Lucan (£750k), prove the existence of extra-terrestial life (£500k) or

explain why the hell they paid several million pound for Titi Camera

(£250k).

 

Meanwhile official West Ham sources would make no comment on rumours that

West Ham are to change their away strip to a white sheet with a white hood

to make Bowyer feel more at home.

 

like the one about the extra terrestrial life..............mind you don't he look like a bloody alien ??