this is a news article that i thought you would like.

 

Teen Stops Masturbating Long Enough

To Save Family From Fire

 

PANAMA CITY, FL—Tragedy was narrowly averted Tuesday, when local 14-year-old Andy Foss suspended his usual non-stop autoerotic stimulation just long enough to drag unconscious family members from the fire consuming their home. "Apparently, Andy's parents, brother, and two sisters were rendered unconscious by smoke and fumes engulfing the house," Panama City fire chief Bill Engel said. "They would have surely perished, had this remarkable young man not heroically torn himself away from masturbation long enough to drag them to safety." Upon the fire department's arrival, Foss reportedly requested an extra blanket.

Haha classic!

Theonion is a wonderful source of news - some of my own personal favourites are: 'Christ converts to Islam' and 'Pope recinds blessed status of worlds meek."screw the meek says pope"'. Also go the the AV club.... red meat is pure class.

oh how hilarious old chap, well done!

my cousin put me onto it today, read a lot on there today, SO FUNNY!!

autoerotic stimulation

 

 

Class

non-stop autoerotic stimulation

 

its been done before

Thats why im Chief Masturbator.... but dont tell anyone