Advice For Men From Women

 

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

 

2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim.

 

3. If we're watching football with you--it's not bonding--it's their butts.

 

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.

 

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

 

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

 

7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed.

 

8. The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts.

 

9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of "who's easy"?

 

10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.

 

11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.

 

12. We don't mind if you look in the mirror to check your appearance -- in fact -- please do !!!

 

13. When you're out with us, please wear "our" favorite outfit rather than "yours" -- the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

 

14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs a negative grunt.

 

15. Don't insist that we "get off the stupid phone" and then not talk to us.

 

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

 

17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily "women's [censored]"; besides, most of the "dirt" and clutter is yours anyway.

 

18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then you never want to cook?

 

19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

 

20. Yes, we know you can probably beat us arm wrestling; however, very few raises or promotions were gained by arm wrestling the boss.

 

 

 

 

My mate sent me this the other day and I thought it would make a reasonable reply!!!!

50 Thing Women Can't Do :

 

>1. know anything about a car except its colour

>2. understand a film plot

>3. go 24 hours without sending a text message

>4. lift

>5. throw

>6. run

>7. park

>8. fart

>9. read a map

>10. rob a bank

>11. resist Ikea

>12. sit still

>13. tell a joke

>14. play pool

>15. pay for dinner

>16. eat a kebab whilst walking

>17. pee out of a train window

>18. argue without shouting

>19. get told off without crying

>20. understand fruit machines

>21. walk past a shoe shop

>22. make a decent bacon sandwich

>23. not comment on a strangers clothes

>24. use small amounts of toilet paper

>25. let you sleep with a hangover

>26. drink a pint gracefully

>27. get a round in

>28. throw a punch

>29. do magic

>30. like your friends

>31. enjoy porn

>32. eat a really hot curry

>33. get to the point

>34. buy plain envelopes

>35. take less than 20 minutes in the toilet

>36. sit in a room for five minutes without saying "I'm cold"

>37. go shopping without telephoning 20 mates

>38. avoid credit card debt

>39. dive into a pool

>40. assemble furniture

>41. roll a bogey between finger and thumb

>42. set a video recorder

>43. not try and change you

>44. watch a war film

>45. understand why flirting results in violence

>46. spend a day by themselves

>47. go to the toilet by themselves

>48. buy a purse that fits in their pocket

>49. choose a video quickly

>50. get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the above

 

fair play for that,though u know it's not all true,we're not that bad lol!

I know, we love you all really, i think

Fook off, I can do all that I could be arsed to read on that list.....

My mate sent me this the other day and I thought it would make a reasonable reply!!!!

50 Thing Women Can't Do :

 

>1. know anything about a car except its colour

>2. understand a film plot

>3. go 24 hours without sending a text message

>4. lift

>5. throw

>6. run

>7. park

>8. fart

>9. read a map

>10. rob a bank

>11. resist Ikea

>12. sit still

>13. tell a joke

>14. play pool

>15. pay for dinner

>16. eat a kebab whilst walking

>17. pee out of a train window

>18. argue without shouting

>19. get told off without crying

>20. understand fruit machines

>21. walk past a shoe shop

>22. make a decent bacon sandwich

>23. not comment on a strangers clothes

>24. use small amounts of toilet paper

>25. let you sleep with a hangover

>26. drink a pint gracefully

>27. get a round in

>28. throw a punch

>29. do magic

>30. like your friends

>31. enjoy porn

>32. eat a really hot curry

>33. get to the point

>34. buy plain envelopes

>35. take less than 20 minutes in the toilet

>36. sit in a room for five minutes without saying "I'm cold"

>37. go shopping without telephoning 20 mates

>38. avoid credit card debt

>39. dive into a pool

>40. assemble furniture

>41. roll a bogey between finger and thumb

>42. set a video recorder

>43. not try and change you

>44. watch a war film

>45. understand why flirting results in violence

>46. spend a day by themselves

>47. go to the toilet by themselves

>48. buy a purse that fits in their pocket

>49. choose a video quickly

>50. get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the above

 

Christ on a bike.

 

Am i the only woman who can actually do all that then?

 

My mate sent me this the other day and I thought it would make a reasonable reply!!!!

50 Thing Women Can't Do :

 

>1. know anything about a car except its colour

>2. understand a film plot

>3. go 24 hours without sending a text message

>4. lift

>5. throw

>6. run

>7. park

>8. fart

>9. read a map

>10. rob a bank

>11. resist Ikea

>12. sit still

>13. tell a joke

>14. play pool

>15. pay for dinner

>16. eat a kebab whilst walking

>17. pee out of a train window

>18. argue without shouting

>19. get told off without crying

>20. understand fruit machines

>21. walk past a shoe shop

>22. make a decent bacon sandwich

>23. not comment on a strangers clothes

>24. use small amounts of toilet paper

>25. let you sleep with a hangover

>26. drink a pint gracefully

>27. get a round in

>28. throw a punch

>29. do magic

>30. like your friends

>31. enjoy porn

>32. eat a really hot curry

>33. get to the point

>34. buy plain envelopes

>35. take less than 20 minutes in the toilet

>36. sit in a room for five minutes without saying "I'm cold"

>37. go shopping without telephoning 20 mates

>38. avoid credit card debt

>39. dive into a pool

>40. assemble furniture

>41. roll a bogey between finger and thumb

>42. set a video recorder

>43. not try and change you

>44. watch a war film

>45. understand why flirting results in violence

>46. spend a day by themselves

>47. go to the toilet by themselves

>48. buy a purse that fits in their pocket

>49. choose a video quickly

>50. get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the above

 

you under estimate the women of the world then... will be ur downfall..lmao

I notice all the women didn't read No.50 then...

I notice all the women didn't read No.50 then...

 

LMAO!

 

 

I notice all the women didn't read No.50 then...

14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs a negative grunt.

 

 

1 for yes

 

2 for no

 

14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs a negative grunt.

 

 

1 for yes

 

2 for no

 

 

You would come up with this.. grrr @ u..lol