I need to take the friday as a day off from [censored] to go to tidy.

Anybody got any good excuses?

my fave is to ring up and say

 

''hi, i have realy bad dioreah and ive been sick all night so i wont be in today''

 

gets em every time!! they are so embarrased you have mentioned poo they go ''yes yes of course goodbye''.

 

ha ha ha

Just ring up n say u keep throwing up, by tues when u go back ur'll prob feel rough anyway so they'll believe ya if ya say u was ill all w/end

That doesn't [censored] for me. I'm a nurse,the last time i did that i had to produce a stool sample so they could test it to make sure there was no bugs on the ward. So unless i can find someone who has the shits & hasn't been taking drugs i'll be fine.

Tell em you took one too many laxatives and u cant stop shitting. Shitting so bad u cant make it to the loo in time. So u need to stay at home and sooth yr burning ring of fire!

 

My mums a nurse and her excuses usually are that she has a migraine.

 

That doesn't [censored] for me. I'm a nurse,the last time i did that i had to produce a stool sample so they could test it to make sure there was no bugs on the ward. So unless i can find someone who has the shits & hasn't been taking drugs i'll be fine.

 

I'll send u some in the post .

 

Tell em you took one too many laxatives and u cant stop shitting. Shitting so bad u cant make it to the loo in time. So u need to stay at home and sooth yr burning ring of fire!

 

My mums a nurse and her excuses usually are that she has a migraine.

 

 

 

 

 

i'm saying nothing to that one...........

That doesn't [censored] for me. I'm a nurse,the last time i did that i had to produce a stool sample so they could test it to make sure there was no bugs on the ward. So unless i can find someone who has the shits & hasn't been taking drugs i'll be fine.

 

I'll send u some in the post .

 

 

 

 

*runs quickly to the toilet.........................................*

 

Man phones boss: "Hello i can't come into [censored] 2day i'm sick.."

 

Boss: "How sick are you??"

 

Man: "Well i'm fukin my sister, how sicks that?!?!"

 

i like that one

i called in sick 2day... told them id eaten sommat dodgy!

If you plan ahead - make moaning and groaning noises in the afternoon before you are 'ill' or develop a headache about 4pm.....that mysteriously got worse in the night then they saw that you weren't well while you were at [censored] but 'battled through it nonetheless!'

Tell em you took one too many laxatives and u cant stop shitting. Shitting so bad u cant make it to the loo in time. So u need to stay at home and sooth yr burning ring of fire!

 

My mums a nurse and her excuses usually are that she has a migraine.

 

 

 

 

 

i'm saying nothing to that one...........

 

It happened to me b4

 

Sum fucker put laxatives in me and my mates cuppa cha, for a joke!

 

The joke lasted for 3 [censored] days!!

 

Everytime i see a roll of toilrt tissue i have flash backs

 

The migraine sounds like the best idea .

On the thursday i'll have a bit of a headache starting & take some paracetamol but battle on with my [censored].

Coming home from [censored] sick makes sence