My parents and my g/f parents hate each other guts! They have never seen eye to eye from day one. My parents slag my g/f parents and they slag my parents via my g/f (Never say anything to me directly).

We had a understanding that we would net get caught up in this, between our parents and let them pretty much fight it out. Last month my g/f went to visit her parents (They are in another state) and ever since she has no respect for my parents. She does not talk to them, on the phone and does not want to visit. We have been apart for 6 weeks, I was in London for business.

Both my parents were ill and hospitalzed, father with heart probs and mother with kidney failure. When my farther was released I had to pressurise her to call and say hi. Her parents did not even call to ask how they were.

When my mother was discharged from hospital, i wanted to say nothing and just see if my g/f would call, which she has not.

My parent used to have respect for my g/f, but not anymore as when they were ill she was not available for support. Now they hate her.

I'm fed up with all this shit but love my g/f, so what do i do?

Let things be as they r

Keep on bullying my g/f to call home etc to make parents happy? (But i believe it should come from her)

Also feel betrayed that she renegaded from our understanding of not getting involved with the parents issues and taking side with her parents. That fukin annoys me.

Sorry for this essay but had to get this out of the system, and get some views..

it's a hard one, cos on one hand, they're ur parents and need ur support,especially if they're ill, but on the other hand,it's not really up to ur girlfriend to phone them all the time, they are ur parents. if it was me, i would out of respect as u say, and for u, cos she should know how much it means to u. u've got to look at whether ur girlfriend really does mean that much to u, and whether u can put up with the way she is acting, n if u do, what impact that will have on ur parents, cos if they're ill, they dont need all this hassle, n u dont know how long they're goin to be around for. imagine how bad it would be if anythin happened to either of them, n u parted on bad terms cos u took ur girlfriends side. u need to sit down and talk to her, explain how u feel, n how much it means, n if she doesn't listen, is she really worth it?? hope this helps

There is noting worse than your partner and both sets of parents not getting on with eachother, coz you are stuck in the middle and you have to deal with all the "slagging off" that goes on between them. What is the reason for them not getting on? Is it a serious issue that cannot be ammended? My brothers wife and her family hated us for no apparant reason. Alot of [censored] happend, arguments were caused, we were verbally abused and was slagged off to everyone, all because we did not like the fact that my brother was held under the thumb by his g/f which is NOT right anyway. Many a times my brother came back home with his bags packed because he was the victim in all this and couldnt really deal with the verbal abuse with hearing her slag his family off she was feeding him about us yet we did nothing wrong.

 

Eventually things had gotten better, he more or less told her that she either gets on with his family and stop bullying him with verbal abuse or that was it between them. I think then she realised that she wasnt being a very mature adult and then sorted her act out and realise that all this [censored] that was going on was a bit to petty and childish. She gave us a chance and we all met up ang even got on with the family. There was no differences to sort out as WE had done nothing to turn her against us, just standing by our son/brother and she did not liek that. Now we all get on like a house on fire and she sure is a part of the family. I dont know what your reasons are for the feud that is taking place in your family but I would most certainly sit each of the culprits down and start talking about it and tell them it's something thay you are not prepared to stand for anymore. Coz it's not as if everything is "happy go lucky" isit? And if it doesnt sort itself out, you guys will never be happy and will be feuding for I don't know how long. Untill you actually say sumthing to all parties, then you are just going to have to put up with it and carry onputting up with the slaggings. There is always time for people to sort out their differences, make this the time to do it and fingers crossed things will slowly get better.

 

X

Who do you want to be with, your parents or your girlfriend?

 

Is there a future for you and your girlfriend if she doesn't get on with your parents?

This was exactly same for my mums parents and my dad.. My mum ditched her parents because of this at 17!! thankfully now, she is still with my dad. but clearly not every1 is the same. u jus need to ask urself which is more important. tis a tough situation.

 

different thing but along the same lines, i didnt like the area my x was from had a lot of probs with people from there (village mentally)at its best (some where total inbred) and we argued alot coz i didnt want to get to know them! this forced a wedge in between us and in the end she hid things from me and when i found out i hit the roof,she said it was because i would hit the rrof if i had known. the moral of the story is that you need to sit down and work things out otherwise it will go on and eat away at both of you and you both might end up doing something that you both regret,as i do!!!!

I cannot ditch my parents..they r weak and ill with their own health problems..I need to be their for them and they require the family support system..just as I need my g/f

Littlemissclubbindiva said:

it's a hard one, cos on one hand, they're ur parents and need ur support,especially if they're ill, but on the other hand,it's not really up to ur girlfriend to phone them all the time, they are ur parents. if it was me, i would out of respect as u say, and for u, cos she should know how much it means to u. u've got to look at whether ur girlfriend really does mean that much to u, and whether u can put up with the way she is acting, n if u do, what impact that will have on ur parents, cos if they're ill, they dont need all this hassle, n u dont know how long they're goin to be around for. imagine how bad it would be if anythin happened to either of them, n u parted on bad terms cos u took ur girlfriends side. u need to sit down and talk to her, explain how u feel, n how much it means, n if she doesn't listen, is she really worth it?? hope this helps

 

Your right I need to sit and talk to her properly, on the phone I get the impression that her family is loosing out to my family so she has decided to take sides..to even things out..thanks

Snez said:

This was exactly same for my mums parents and my dad.. My mum ditched her parents because of this at 17!! thankfully now, she is still with my dad. but clearly not every1 is the same. u jus need to ask urself which is more important. tis a tough situation.

 

I cannot ditch my parents..they r weak and ill with their own health problems..I need to be their for them and they require the family support system..just as I need my g/f

 

sounds harsh but she doesnt sound like she's worth it, u sound like u need someone who's there for u, not wrapped up in themselves n their own [censored], good luck anyway mr anon, whoever u are

If your girlfriend loves u then she has to accept that ur family are part of the package.She should be there for u no matter what has happend, and shes not ,maybe you should ask your self if u can see ur self with somone like that coz it might ruin ur relashionship if u leave it any longer

Anonymous said:

Snez said:

This was exactly same for my mums parents and my dad.. My mum ditched her parents because of this at 17!! thankfully now, she is still with my dad. but clearly not every1 is the same. u jus need to ask urself which is more important. tis a tough situation.

 

I cannot ditch my parents..they r weak and ill with their own health problems..I need to be their for them and they require the family support system..just as I need my g/f

I'm not saying ditch ur parents mate, it's jus what happened to my 'rents. It's a mega tough situation u are in. personally, i think u should talk to them all, and let them know how u are feeling and how tough it is for u. if ur parents are ill, they certainly don't need the added stress. even if they don;t like each other they could try and get along?