1. I prefer breasts to legs

 

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

 

3. Smother the butter all over the breasts!

 

4. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!

 

5. I've never seen a better spread!

 

6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

 

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

 

8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

 

9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

 

10. Don't play with your meat.

 

11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.

 

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once

 

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!

 

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

 

15. How long will it take after you put it in?

 

16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

 

17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang.

 

18. That's the biggest bird I've ever had!

 

19. I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning

 

20. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all that and still want more!

 

 

  Quote

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.

15. How long will it take after you put it in?

20. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all that and still want more!

 

Are you SURE you only say these at xmas

& what about "wasn't wrapping paper good value this year ?"

 

I duno mate - I wasn't the author!