Mine was about 1 day and one hour. It's the only job I've been sacked from. Still pisses me off today.

 

Got a temp job in 98 working for Asprey and Garrad's (royal jewellers) on Bond Street, on their massively slow and decrepid Payroll and Invoicing system.

 

I was about 10 mins late for the frsit day as the tubes were up the spout, and it was summer, so I didn't wear a jacket. My hair was still blonde then and I had a goatee. Everyone else was floppy haired posh types (I went to public school but I will not associate myself with those tossers) and I had an air of "I don't think I fit in here" from the moment I walked in.

 

Bored shitless all day and went home wondering how I was going to survive 6 months there.

 

Next morning, same again - 10 mins late. Arse. Strangely, my boss and her no. 2 were nowhere to be seen. An hour in, got called into the managers office, and told I was being sacked for "lack of punctuality (after 2 fecking mornings! and with no official warning!!) and "personal appearance" (ie. I wasn't in their ex-Eton dumb as fvck mould).... wtf?!?!

 

It wasn't like I liked the place, but I've always been pretty professional at work (hard as it may seem to believe) so I was pretty gutted to be sacked! I then had to suffer the indignity of having my bag searched by security (full of minging rugby kit as well... ) on the way out.... they broke all the rules as I had no warning and they didn't consult my agency.

 

All the same, I can't say I was fussed - I got a much better job then and it put me where I am now!...

 

2nd day's not bad though.... anyone beat that?

Think mine was about 2 days when i was about 15 or 16, was workin in a chip shop, couldn't stand it so rang in sick the next day and never went back.

mine was for about an hour & a half!!! In a factory canteen, stood there serving slop & thought, F**k this... temp or not it was crap!!

4 fahkin years

I wqent fruit pickin once with me mate Adam- the farmer was well mean to us so we filled our punnits wit rocks LOL there was this deaf guy doin it to so we yoinked his fruit as his hearin aid was gettin feedback off the bushes

 

 

I actually completed a contract in 20 minutes... They didn't know what they were doing and called to get someone to fix something they had [censored] up... Was supposed to be 5 days... They paid me for them in the end, but I literally stayed 25 minutes (that included saying hello, explaining that it was fixed, getting my timesheet signed and saying goodbye)...

 

Oh and it's the highest hourly rate i've ever had... , £800 an hour was great...

About 2 months - paper round!

 

im not sure what mine is, but a mate of mine (if this counts) went to uni DURING FRESHERS WEEKS-NO WORK INVOLVED, for the grand time of ONE HOUR before he decided he hated it and went home!

 

he is tryin again in september

Mine was a day. I worked at this awful summer camp place last summer, hundreds of little bratty kids everywhere, urghhhhhhh! Couldn't stand it!

Mine was wen i was 17..working for a friends mum...training to be a hairdresser! Lasted 1 day ...why? cos the tight cow was paying me £10 a day!!!!!!

Tara said:

Mine was a day. I worked at this awful summer camp place last summer, hundreds of little bratty kids everywhere, urghhhhhhh! Couldn't stand it!

 

Surely you'd be righ at home...

Guyster said:

Tara said:

Mine was a day. I worked at this awful summer camp place last summer, hundreds of little bratty kids everywhere, urghhhhhhh! Couldn't stand it!

 

Surely you'd be righ at home...

 

Hahaha! Well none of the little bastards would play with me! They wanted to watch videos all day, while I wanted to play on the adventure playground! They wouldn't let me go on the swings!

shortest time ive spent at 1 job was 8/9 months. its was a residential home 4 the elderly... the care was of such a low standard i couldnt b apart of it.. it was awful i wouldnt of even put me dog there.

 

longest is the 1 ime still at, started when i was still at school, bin there 5 yrs... thats workin with people with special needs.

three hours, kitchen washer dude in a wanky edinburgh eatery/bar called montpeliers, [censored] shithole in the nightmare hell kitchen below - aaaaaaaah

lol @ lotsa these. mine was 3 hours, was on a building site, at midday i thought 'fook this' and left. grr@miss diddy thought i was gonna hold the record