I guess I just wouldn't ask how she got into my garden and why she hid in a load of undergrowth breathing strangely fast and twitching

 

I guess her behaviour isn't as weird as the current gf, I'd take hiding in the bushes in my garden breathing loudly and twitching over never seeing me any day, at least it would add some excitement!

 

Yeah I do wish, ah well. One day maybe I'll find a girl who isn't absolutely nuts, in the meantime I'll have them hiding in my garden making weird animalistic noises or phoning me up shouting crazily and asking for shitloads of money.

Hmm the plot thickens, went outside for a cig and there were some noises in the garden either next door or the next one along... like something was moving. Then their security light went on?!

 

its the ass burglar! :-o

 

llamaman said:

So I go out for a cig and I hear some scrabbling and I wonder whether there is some pikey around, and then in the undergrowth next to my greenhouse I hear this laboured breathing and I can see little eyes looking out at me.

 

I've just come back inside.

 

WHAT the [censored] is this!??!

 

Will keep you updated if I learn more, I'm going to go back outside again to see whether the thing is still there. Don't want it to run at me or give me rabies if it's big, but I've got to find out what the hell it is.

 

u r going 2 be abducted by alians

There is only one obvious answer and that is, Venusians!