walnut whip!!!!!!!!!!

GodsKitchenBoy said:

Can every1 help me in a long running debate I having with my mates.

 

Its not a very nice debate but it needs to be addressed.

 

When one is in the lavatory...er....laying a cable shall we say, does one rise from the seat to wipe ones rear or does one simply lift a cheek for easy access?

 

Current scores stand at:

 

Risers: 14

Cheek Lifters: 9

 

I myself am a riser.

 

Please feel free to enlighten me........or (much more likely) tell me to piss off.

 

GKC

 

You go to Gods dont you

Lifter....

 

And I think the case for inspecting is to make sure you're fully wiped out....

Thats a very good point about the inspection.....

 

And do I go to Gods Shaun? Nah......never heard of it.....

 

Remember the bog paper you used to get at school.....shiny greaseproof that would slice your ring no matter how much you tried to fold it to cushion the blow? Bastards.....

 

How can they expect you to grow up normal-like, when you have to wipe you delicates with the equivalent of what your mum used to put in the oven...

 

In fact, I never used to make deposits in the porcelain banks at school, probably because of the paper but more so because the bog doors used to have a 1/2 ft gap at the bottom and just about reached eye-level of any passers-by...like a saloon door in the Good, the Bad and the Ugly....

 

Anyway, just ignore me and carry on....

 

GKC

We were told *why* they used horrible shitty (no pun intended) bog paper at school.... And why most public toilets had it too....

 

After extensive research by the council, it was shown that using the cheap crap cost less. Not just because it was cheap, but also because people used less as they didn't like it. Hence why when they didn't use the grease-proof stuff, they'd use some horrible rough crap....

 

You learn something new every day?!?

I feel enlightened and educated.....

 

 

GodsKitchenBoy said:

Girls always seem to lift as a preference......

 

I reckon its beause they don't have to worry about crushing anything when leaning to one side......

 

Its also a little known fact that many women can piss quite effectively whilst standing up.....

 

I used to be a doctor you know.........well almost.......well not at all really but its the thought that counts

 

GKC

 

There is no reason why girls can't piss standing up, its just that most girls can't do it with out the piss running down their legs.

Ah ha!! But thats where you are wrong!

 

As a qualified physiologist (Manchester Uni 1997-2000 2:1 Hons), if the lady in question......er......holds her....er...bits......open......um.......there is no chance if it going down her legs....

 

As you can see, i spent a very constructive 3 yrs studying

 

GKC

Edited June 27, 200321 yr by GodsKitchenBoy

How about if someone holds the "young ladies" bits open for her?

That would of course suffice but the young lady would have to be careful where she sprayed....or not as the case may be..

 

BTW are you thinking of giving it a go?

 

GKC

Edited June 27, 200321 yr by GodsKitchenBoy

Nah, i think i'll stick to sitting down when i piss.

Very wise..........you might get all manner of weirdos offer to hold your bits open for you!

 

GKC

 

 

weirdos, nah there's no one like that around here

Was that a dig at me my dear?

No .......why have you got something you want to tell us?