Jump to content

Featured Replies

  • CTW Members
879 said:

my bad..... my english is really bad, but how many of u can speak more then one language?

 

i speak french. i used to be fluent but i've lost some of it.

 

english is a great language. it's also pretty hard to learn i'm told but how hard can it be, i learned it when i was 4 or 5 smile.gif

 

seriously, learning another language is, i think, a great exercise -i learned more about the mechanics of english learning french than i ever did in english class.

 

ask 100 people on the street what 'imperfect' or 'perfect' tense are and i suspect very few people will know.

 

alasdair

"I've got medication, honey. I've got wings to fly", Primal Scream:Jailbird msn: alasdairmanson@hotmail.com yahoo IM: alimanson@yahoo.com AOL IM: alimanson23@aol.com email: ali_manson@yahoo.com homepage: http://www.magicglasses.com

  • CTW Members

the tense at GG were pretty good laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gifeek.gif

  • CTW DJs
TitchyBitch said:

why is ENCYCLOPEDIA such a nasty world to spell?

There are a few of these! Off the top of my head...

 

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Is there another word for synonym or thesaurus?

Why does monosyllabic have five syllables?

Is there such a thing as a gruntled employee?

And spot the irony of the word phonetic!!

large.av-91.gif.449166b45e170fe384bdf684

  • CTW Members

lazy cunts. here laugh.gif

 

REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS HARD TO LEARN

 

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was

time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

22) Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway.

 

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

 

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

 

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?

 

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but

one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise

man and a wise guy are opposites?

How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

 

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?

Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?

Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?

Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?

And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or

who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

 

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).

 

That is why when the stars are out, they are visible, but

when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

 

 

smile.gif

Edited by Phil_raa

  • CTW DJs

Quality quality quality!

Quality stuff Phil. Especially this one:

 

Phil_raa said:

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

laugh.gifthumbs.gif

large.av-91.gif.449166b45e170fe384bdf684

  • CTW Members

i like it nod.gif fun stuff

  • ClubTheWorld changed the title to The English language!

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
image.png
Clubbing the world together ...