Things I hate about everybody…..

 

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time……I know where my watch is pal, where the [censored] is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

 

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually

 

3. When people say “oh you just want to have your cake and eat it” too [censored] right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?

 

4. When people say “It’s always the last place you look” Of course it is. Why the [censored] would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

 

5. When people say when watching a film “did you see that” No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the [censored] floor!

 

6. People ask “Can I ask you a question?” Didn’t really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

 

7. When something is “new & improved!” Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

 

8. When people say “Life’s too short” What the [censored]? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever [censored] does!! What can you do that’s longer?

 

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus had been, would I be standing here?, Knobhead!!

 

10. People who say things like “My eyes aren’t what they used to be” So what did they used to be then? Ears, Boots, Toes?

 

11. When your eating something and someone says “Is that nice?” no it’s really revolting – I always eat stuff I hate!

 

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need

 

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don’t understand you unless you insert ‘Mc’ before the item you are ordering……..It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well I’ll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you [censored] McTosser!

 

14. When your involved in an accident and someone asks “Are you alright?” yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off!

 

 

READ EM BEFORE, number 4 is a classic!!

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don’t understand you unless you insert ‘Mc’ before the item you are ordering……..It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well I’ll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you [censored] McTosser!

 

 

I think I might quote this myself later today !

 

No 5 - always happens doesn't it?

7 & 9 are belters too!

 

 

 

3. When people say “oh you just want to have your cake and eat it” too [censored] right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?

 

Diablo said:

 

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually

 

Belter!

10. People who say things like “My eyes aren’t what they used to be” So what did they used to be then? Ears, Boots, Toes?

 

that one a bit dumb as they are refering to their eye site. GOD, lol.

 

Seen them before, i love the mcdonald one, lol!!

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually

 

I do this all the time hahaha !

I think someones been watching Jack Dee recently.

 

Still very funny (and true) though.

all good!! lol

Diablo said:

8. When people say “Life’s too short” What the [censored]? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever [censored] does!! What can you do that’s longer?

 

be dead?