The following are actual ads placed in the Personal section of the

> > Ministry of Sound magazine:

> >

> > ARE YOU AGED 18-30, female, slim build, into hardcore techno, a recent

> > graduate and into politics?

> > Then [censored] off! I want a [censored]-thick 16 year old bird with no opinions and

> > massive tits! Reply to box. xxxx

> >

> > WERE YOU THE GIRL with braids, blue T-shirt, platform trainers,dancing

> to

> > left of the stage during JFK's set at Passion last Friday? I was the guy

> > curled up under the speaker stack. I meant to talk

> > to you but I was hallucinating and I thought you had a wolf's head

> > and flippers. But I'm ok now. Reply to xxxx

> >

> > ATTENTION ALL MAD clubheads in the Toxteth area going to Cream this

> > weekend.

> > Me and my mates are going to nick all your valuables while you're out

> > because we're thieving scally bastards.

> >

> > IF YOU ARE a group of around four house fans in the Acton High Street

> area

> > of West London and you're particularly into old skool Chicago

> > sounds,please turn your stereo down because some of us are [censored]

> > trying to get some sleep.

> >

> > ARE YOU THE TALL BLACK-HAIRED GUY in the black and

> > silver Versace shirt who I shagged in the Ministry toilets about three

> > months ago without any form of birth control.

> > Please write to me. I'd...ummmm...love to hear from you. Just to see how

> > you are and stuff.

> > Don't worry, there's nothing to worry about.Really.

> > It's just that I'm going to have a...ummm...a PARTY!

> > Yes, that's it. A party. Reply xxxx

> >

> > WANTED: COCAINE. Lots of it. Reply to xxxx

> >

> > WERE YOU THE man standing three feet away from me at the bar in Fabric,

> > smiling weakly and smelling rather too strongly of Issey Miyake? Because

> > if you look at my tits one more time, I am going to glass you.

> >

 

class.

 

But i thought the joke in here was the actual magazine!!

 

they're pretty funny

Bushy said:

class.

 

But i thought the joke in here was the actual magazine!!

 

hahaha tho i did same as you bushy!!

Rubbish.

CreamyC said:

Rubbish.

 

 

bish rub