As the nights are drawing in and the festive season bekons I thought I would treat you all to a festive tale...... the story will commence in the next post. Enjoy......

 

Chief turkey called into urgent talks with the Board of Bernard Luminar PLC to discuss Christmas

The Chief Turkey at Camd Enpalace Turkey farm was today called in to a meeting to discuss the future. A spokesmen commented that “Bernard Luminar are keen to foster a culture of empowerment, and wide delegation in all its units, and as such it feel it completely appropriate that representatives of all their valuable ‘staff’ be consulted at all levels.”

 

Commenting later Chief Turkey Mr W Avian said “it is pleasure to see how much of the plans for the future, the company are willing to share, with us it key ‘staff’. And I have their firm assurance that the future for all of us is bright and rosy, and we look forward to working with and for Bernard Luminar now and in the long-term. Contrary to the wild an unprovoked rumours that Christmas will spell the end for all of the ‘staff’ at Camd Enpalace, I have the CEO’s personal assurance that we will enjoy a long and mutually profitable relationship for many years to come.”

 

A glowing Mr Avian also received a personal commendation from the CEO who congratulated him on achieving rapid growth and hinted that might even be invited to the CEO’s own home for Christmas Lunch.

 

 

Breaking News… Camd Enpalace Chief Turkey “We are all for the Chop”

 

A visibly shaken and distraught Will Avian, today disclosed that the management of Bernard Luminar had been secretly planning large scale dispatching of it’s ‘staff’, at Camd Enpalace turkey farm. “This has come as a real blow, and a complete shock. Only yesterday we were told that our future was safe, but today it seems we are all about to be stabbed in the back”

Secret Recording of a Camd Enpalace emergency ‘staff’ meeting

 

To sounds of much clucking

“Listen Brothers we can’t fight this on our own…let’s involve the punters..We will spread rumours and dis-imformation, we will say Camd Enpalace is going to be turned into a Vegetarian Health food emporium, hopefully if enough people protest, we will all be safe.”

 

 

Press Release from Bernard Luminar PLC

 

Commenting on speculation regardinging the future of Camd Enpalace , and it’s ‘Staff’

“Our main responsibility is to our shareholders. Their has been much interest in acquisition of the ‘staff’ at Camd Enpalace, from many sources, notably the T. Esco corporation & JS Ainsbury PLC and whilst we cannot comment directly on our immediate plans. We will obviously be acting in a manner that delivers maximum shareholder value.

 

 

FT Today – Sharp Gains for T.Esco, and Bernard Luminar.

 

Following a bidding war the staff and premises of Camd Enpalace Turkey Farm were all transferred to the ownership of the giant T. Esco Corporation.

A spokesman for T. Esco was blunt “ The immediate plans are for a quick disposal in time for the all important Christmas season.” The Bernard Luminar share price rose 10 points on the day, and Tesco Corp was up 23p on the news. JS Ainsburys shares fell 33 points to an all time low.

 

Bernard Luminar CEO Family home

 

Deck the halls with bells and holy……

Mini–CEO : mmmm Doesn’t that turkey smell delicious Dad

Sounds of Knife being sharpened.

CEO : Yes Son and a thoroughly nice chap he was too.

 

 

sorry....was this supposed to be funny

 

 

Retail Property News – Camd Enpalace Leased Back to Bernard Luminar PLC

 

The premise of the Camd Enpalace have recently been transferred back to Bernard Luminar PLC by T. Esco after only nine months of ownership, under a Lease Back arrangement. A spokesman for Bernard Luminar said, we are in the process of recruiting a whole new team of staff, and are confident of further rapid growth throughout what remains of the year. The Camd Enpalace new Chief Turkey commented..” I am delighted……..” Luminar Shares rose a further 25p on the news.

 

 

luu_luu said:

 

utter wank.

You're too clever for us Ian.