Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new

car.

 

Q. What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

 

Q. What's the definition of macho?

A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

 

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf

ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

 

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it.

 

Q. What is a Yankee?

A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

 

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.

 

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

 

Q. What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?

A. Well-hung.

 

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?

A. The grip.

 

Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?

A. It's not hard.

 

Q. What's the difference between a girlfriend and a

wife?

A: 2 stone

 

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a

husband?

A: 45 minutes

 

Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don't have eyes.

 

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of

true love?

A: The swallow.

 

Q. Why do most women pay more attention to their

appearance than improving their minds?

A. Because most men are stupid but few are blind.

 

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the

morning?

A. They don't have balls to scratch