Alternative greetings cards

[Lisa]

Few Quotes-

 

"Looking back over the years that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder: What the heck was I thinking?"

 

"Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your wife."

 

"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.

But after having met you, I've changed my mind."

 

"I must admit, you brought religion in my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you."

 

 

"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am

that you're not here to ruin it for me."

 

"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go,

would you like to take this knife out of my back.

You'll probably be needing it again."

 

"How could two people as beautiful as you

have such an ugly baby?"

 

"Someday I hope to get married,

but not to you."

 

"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."

 

"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?"

 

"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for

your birthday...so we're having you put to sleep."

 

"Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!"

(available only in certain parts of the South.)