Darwin awards

[Shaney_R]

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are

bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious

winners:

 

1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during

a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did

something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried

the trigger again. This time it worked....

 

And now, the honourable mentions:

 

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine

and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance

company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a

look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim

was approved.

 

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space his car during a

blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the

space. Understandably, he shot her.

 

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found

that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to

Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went

to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then

delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the

patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception

wasn't discovered for 3 days.

 

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head

wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the

injuries, he told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could

get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

 

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and

asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun

and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly

provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill

on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. If

someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

 

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd

just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and

run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window.

The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief the head, knocking

him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole

event was caught on videotape.

 

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her

purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to

give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police

apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the

store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a

positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady

I stole the purse from."

 

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger

King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The

clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register

without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they

weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

 

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

 

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a

Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the

scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled

sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal

gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by

mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it

was the best laugh he'd ever had.

[Miss Minx]

I love these they make me feel so much better about being a dippy twat as i can assure myself theres always someone worse ;oP

[fifedjdomo]

a good read mate, some stupid stuff people do eh?

lol

[Ginge]

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

 

I dont think this one deserves a Darwin award, the guy is a fuckin genius.

Edited August 24, 2005 by Ginge

[Tresh]

Bushy had these ages ago, seems ur just not with the in crowd Mr R.

[Shaney_R]

No i am tresh, it was him who sent them me, copy and paste u see for all 2 see, wat are friends for eh

[Tresh]

[Shaney_R]

itchy chin lol

[Tresh]

Need to shave.

[Miss Minx]

Grow a little beard

[Tresh]

I'm not allowed and have to say I don't particularly want to.

 

It may make me look a bit evil

[Miss Minx]

just a small one and then take some pics to show us n then shave it

[Tresh]

It'll take me a week to grow even a small beard and again I'm not allowed.

[Miss Minx]

why?

[Tresh]

For every reason when I was single, I could make my own decisions, instead of having ot worry bout stubble rash and that i cud only watch 1 footy match a week.