The Creamy Springer Show!

[CreamyC]

Okay, this is a bitching post, I want everyone to bitch about anything here as it seems alot of bitchiness arises on other posts!

 

I want to start by confessing something to Beaker! Beaker, I'm sorry man, I've been cheating on you man, I've been seeing someone else!

 

Hit it!

 

[matthew james]

ok then, as we're on an owning up thing,

 

I slept with LibbyVanDykes' tortoise.

 

And enjoyed it too.

 

m.

[LibbyVanDyke]

I think this is a daft idea...cos i dont bitch....excpet about u creamy cos u shagged my mams friends postmans cat, who actually turned out ot be a man and engaged in a threewome with my friends sisters husbands brother with really weird hair and a bit fat belly.

[LibbyVanDyke]

u mean my tortoise has been sleeping around with scum like you..jesus even thats low for an animal

[Beaker]

I knew it, i could be angry, i could go into one instead ill just put a picture of what you look like first thing in the morning so all the peeps on CTW can see the true you!!!

 

[matthew james]

quote:

---

Originally posted by LibbyVanDyke:

u mean my tortoise has been sleeping around with scum like you..jesus even thats low for an animal

---

yeah, at least they don't have to pay for it though!! I know all about you and that illegal brothel you run from your living room!!!

 

m.

[CreamyC]

Yes its true I confess, god I'm such a bastard, I know, I shouldn't be living, I did shag her mams friends postmans cat, who actually turned out ot be a man and engaged in a threewome with my friends sisters husbands brother with really weird hair and a bit fat belly but I loved every minute of it, you hear me, every single sodding minute of it!!!!

 

Feeeeerrrrrrcck You!

 

Whatevvvvvvver!

[LibbyVanDyke]

talk to the hand!

[scouseladuk]

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! scouseladuk is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his beaker. So everyone please put your hands together for scouseladuk!

Jerry: Okay, now scouseladuk you're here to talk about someone aren't you?

You: Yes.

Jerry: And what is this other persons name?

You: libby.

The crowd SQUEALS with delight.

Jerry: Okay, okay, well libby, is actually here tonight -

The crowd SQUEALS.

Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you scouseladuk, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... garlandsboi!

You: What the HELL!!!

Out of nowhere you pull out a crossbow. garlandsboi reaches for the coffee table. Out of the shadows soph appears.

soph: Wait everybody wait!

Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here garlandsboi.

garlandsboi: Because I saw scouseladuk and soph making out at garlands!

The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.

soph: That's a lie! I was home watching coronation st!

Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem garlandsboi?

garlandsboi: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with beaker who has recently become engaged to soph.

The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.

Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring beaker out here because scouseladuk had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... libby that's right!

beaker: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with libby! You know I'm how I feel about libby!.

soph: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with libby!

beaker: Because I knew that I could never have libby. But scouseladuk promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!

soph: What about respect for MY feelings!

garlandsboi walks suddenly across the stage, embracing beaker.

garlandsboi: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.

Again the crowd SQUEALS.

soph: Oh my God! Are you SICK!

soph runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.

soph: scouseladuk take me away from all of this!

You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...

The crowd does its bit.

soph: Married?

You nod.

soph: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!

You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to libby.

beaker: (screaming) WHAT!!!

Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?

libby: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 69 times if that's what you mean.

The crowd squeals.

Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... scouseladuk is married to libby who beaker has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now beaker has recently become engaged to soph who was recently spotted kissing scouseladuk in the garlands. Now on top of this garlandsboi has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with beaker.

libby: That's right Jerry.

Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.

Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

[LibbyVanDyke]

Have u noticed how im made out to be the tart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[scouseladuk]

Awww purley co-incidental sweetie!

[CreamyC]

Spot on!

 

[LibbyVanDyke]

oh and me and scouselad are married

[scouseladuk]

quote:

---

Originally posted by LibbyVanDyke:

oh and me and scouselad are married

---

excactly...

[TidyTraxGrant]

@ the whole post