For the Guys RE: Oral Sex!

[Kenikia]

It's come to my attention that a lot of chicks are pretty uptight when it comes to having their boyfriends lick their twats. I have one friend who can't bring herself to tell her boyfriend what she likes and what she doesn't like while he's down there. When she told me this I was like, "Sweetheart, the man's not psychic,". She claims it's because she's embarrassed. I asked her why. She said that she thought that if she told him he'd feel bad. After a bit of research I realized that almost every single one of my friends felt the same way. Only one had no problems with telling a guy what she liked, but she's a self professed slut, so she doesn't count.

Wondering just what the hell the big deal was, I called up one of my guy friends. I asked him if he eats his girlfriend out. He said yes. I asked him if she ever came, and his reply made me laugh so hard I just about pissed myself. His response: "No, but she's the best damn faker I've ever seen!". He went on to explain that a long time ago he'd basically given up actually trying to make her cum, he simply eats her out to turn himself on. He knows damn well that she's faking but the way he sees it is, as long as he doesn't think about her faking during the deed, he doesn't give a [censored]. Interesting.

But not as interesting as the other guy I called up. His girlfriend won't even let his mouth near her cunt because she says it's dirty and it smells and she's embarrassed. [What's with all this embarrassment crap?] He's tried telling her that all girls have a smell down there, but she won't even discuss it, she blushes and changes the subject or leaves the room. Serious issues? Actually no, a few of the chicks I talked to about this had no idea that we were supposed to smell down there. After finding this out I seriously wondered just what the hell are they teaching girls in sex ed?

After talking to eleven guys and fourteen girls about this topic, the reasons why chicks have a problem with eating out are as follows: they're embarrassed to cum because of how they will look or what they'll sound like, the guy just isn't doing it right and she's too embarrassed to tell him what she likes and doesn't like and the age old stanky pussy syndrome.

Okay first things first. Ladies, our pussies smell like that because they're supposed to! Maybe it's so guys can find them in the dark, I have no idea *why* they smell like that but they do. Get over it. As long as your showering every day and you're hygiene habits are good, you're fine. If you seriously think that your pussy is overly rank, see a damn doctor. Chances are, if you're not a ditchpig, you've got nothing to worry about. Unless it smells like an open ten day old can of tuna, chill out.

Like I said, men aren't psychic. There isn't a manual given to them when they take sex ed called "How to Eat Pussy and Make Every Single Woman On The Planet Scream Your Name". What may have worked for them in the past, may not work for you, so you have to be specific. If you don't like his tongue scraping up and down right on your clit, say so! If you like when he makes little swirlies in your hole, say "Yeah, do that,". I mean the male ego is a fragile thing, but trust me, you're not going to hurt his feelings. The first time he gives you an orgasm, in his head he's going to be saying, "Woo hoo! I am THE MAN! Look what I can do!". He will be so damn proud of himself that even if he did feel a little inadequate before, he's forgotten about it. And think about it. He tells you what he likes doesn't he? Do you care when he tells you, "I love it when you do that thing with your tongue on my nads,"? No. It makes you feel like you've done something right! It makes you feel good that you've made him feel good. Throw the man a bone!

Embarrassment over what you may sound or look like. Well, if you're lying on your back and his face is buried in your snatch, I can guarantee it that he can't see your face. Plus, it's not like he's going to stop while you're cumming to take a good look either. (Well, not if he doesn't want to get kicked in the face. Most men are wise enough that they aren't going to stop while a chick's in the throes of passion.) And think about it. How many pornos has the average guy seen? A million! They have seen THE cheesiest orgasms ever known to mankind, do you really think he's going to care about your few, REAL grunts and groans? [censored], he's still doing that aforementioned mental happy dance and pat on the back thing! Every single guy I spoke to, informed me that they get turned on when a chick makes a few sounds while she's cumming. One actually divulged that once he was eating a girl out and he got so turned on by her moans that he came - in his pants.

For the girls who fake. Why are you faking? Why not do the real thing? I think it's really funny that the friend who fakes told me that she screams her boyfriend's name and does the whole cheesy porno bit, even though when she masturbates she rarely makes any noise. And her reason for faking? She's too embarrassed to tell her boyfriend what she likes! Um, hello? Isn't screaming and moaning and carrying on like the fake chicks on pornos embarrassing at all to you? It makes no sense! Not to mention, faking's kind of like lying, don't you think?

Another beef the guys had that I feel I should address, is the fact that after they've done some carpet munching on their girlfriends, the chicks refuse to kiss them until they've gone and had something to drink or brush their teeth. Ladies, come on. It's yours, you know it's clean, you know where it's been and really, it doesn't taste that bad. In fact, it tastes a hell of a lot better than jizz and most women have no problems sucking *that* back.

For the poor slobs whose girlfriends are really uptight about this and no matter what they try she still won't budge, here's a few tips from the ladies. For most, using your tongue as a mini cock and pushing it in and our of her cunt, isn't going to do much. Chicks need clitoral stimulation. Again, this is a generalization coming from the chicks I know and have talked to. You can't stroke a clit the same way you jerk your cock either. They just don't work the same way, in fact, not touching the actual clit itself seems to work best. The next time you're looking at a snatch, take a good look at the clitoral area. There's a hood that sort of covers the actual clit. You want to massage that with your tongue, hard and fast, in circles. But again every girl is different.

Since every woman is different, here's a few signs that whatever you're doing is the right thing. If you see any of these signs, don't do what you're doing faster or harder, keep the same pace and do exactly what you were doing. Watch her breathing, if all of a sudden she stops breathing and it seems like she's holding her breath, you're about two minutes away from having her cum all over your face. If you feel her legs tense, it's a good sign. For some reason us bitches have to tense every muscle in our bodies before and during an orgasmic episode, if we don't you stand a chance of getting kicked in the head, because we honestly can't be held resposible for what our limbs do if we don't tense up. If you can see her hands watch for white knuckles. The arching of the back can mean two things, either she does that before and during an orgasm, or she's repositioning your mouth to where she thinks it'll feel better. This sign takes some practice at defining.

Well folks there you have it. The guide to eating pussy. Have fun and bon apetit!

[Kenikia]

Uhm.. I didnt personally write that stuff, my friend found it on the net

 

I got THAT cleared up

[Claire DC]

hehehehe, i am a bit para bot that but once iv let them start then im ok...is just the startin of fbit that i need to work on!!

As for me givin oral well i fookin love it!! Not too keen on cum in the mouth but i love givin a good ol blow job...sorry am i goin on a bit??

Im soooo pissed!! Ignore me  

[Kenikia]

Not to sound dirty, But I so love giving oral!

[Wub Wub]

I LOVE going down on a woman. You get so much by doing so little.....

[Dakers]

Yeah, like I said in a previous post I really enjoy going down and trying to make a lady cum that way.

I'm not very confident in bed, and oral sex is probably the only thing I'm actually conmfortable with. It's made harder though when if I do the senisitive guy thing and try and talk about it, and ask her what she enjoys, all I get is "Everything feels nice". Not really much to go on.

Probably the reason I feel even less confident and worry about sex even more. This is the first girl I've actually slept with (although my oral skills were perfected on a group of women in Australia ), and it doesn't really encourage you to feel more relaxed or enjoy the deed any more if you can't get any feedback

[Wub Wub]

Well said. I find women tend to be more responsive whilst I'm going down on them (ie hair pulling, moaning etc), and that's a real turn on for me as well.

 

Plus, when you're doing all the work, and nothing's being done to you, there's no chance of blowing your top early. Another plus point

[Kenikia]

Im a bit shy but when a guy goes down on me, Im not any of the sort! I grab his head lol!

[Wub Wub]

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Originally posted by Kenikia:

Im a bit shy but when a guy goes down on me, Im not any of the sort! I grab his head

lol!

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I girl I used to go out with a LONG time ago had never hd oral sex before me.......but by the end, she preferred it to regular sex (that sounds a bit ego-tistcal; sorry)

 

Personally, I thought that was just being selfish.

[Power Slough]

I've got to agree on all accounts with Wub_Wub & Dakers! I love going down on women & love to take as long as they need to make them come. The more the woman tells you what to do the better, because then you know they are enjoying it & you are doing it the way they like!!

So come on girls, keep those legs spread & let our toungues do the work!!!!  

[Wub Wub]

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Originally posted by power_slough:

So come on girls, keep those legs spread & let our toungues do the work!!!!

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Aren't you the charmer

[Power Slough]

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Originally posted by wub_wub:

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Originally posted by power_slough:

So come on girls, keep those legs spread & let our toungues do the work!!!!

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Aren't you the charmer

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Years of practice!!

[Wub Wub]

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Originally posted by power_slough:

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Originally posted by wub_wub:

quote:

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Originally posted by power_slough:

So come on girls, keep those legs spread & let our toungues do the work!!!!

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Aren't you the charmer

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Years of practice!!

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Going back to the point (and linking quite nicely) I enjoyed my years spent practising going down on women (college time well spent!). Far more useful than 'practising' intercourse (which, lets be honest, was never the most fun when you first started)

[Power Slough]

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Originally posted by wub_wub:

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Originally posted by power_slough:

quote:

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Originally posted by wub_wub:

quote:

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Originally posted by power_slough:

So come on girls, keep those legs spread & let our toungues do the work!!!!

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Aren't you the charmer

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Years of practice!!

---

Going back to the point (and linking quite nicely) I enjoyed my years spent practising going down on women (college time well spent!). Far more useful than 'practising' intercourse (which, lets be honest, was never the most fun when you first started)

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Well as they say practice makes perfect & intend to keep on practicing for as long as humanly possible!!!

[Wub Wub]

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Originally posted by power_slough:

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Originally posted by wub_wub:

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Originally posted by power_slough:

quote:

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Originally posted by wub_wub:

quote:

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Originally posted by power_slough:

So come on girls, keep those legs spread & let our toungues do the work!!!!

---

Aren't you the charmer

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Years of practice!!

---

Going back to the point (and linking quite nicely) I enjoyed my years spent practising going down on women (college time well spent!). Far more useful than 'practising' intercourse (which, lets be honest, was never the most fun when you first started)

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Well as they say practice makes perfect & intend to keep on practicing for as long as humanly possible!!!

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Well, it is such damn good fun. And the more responsive the woman, the better it is.