Women's & Men's English ...

[James]

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

 

"Yes" = No

 

"No" = Yes

 

"Maybe" = No

 

It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now

 

"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later.

 

"We need to talk" = I need to bitch

 

"Sure....... ... go ahead" = I don't want you to.

 

"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

 

"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're not going to really like me for.

 

"Is my bum fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.

 

"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me.

 

"Are you listening to me?" = Too late, you're dead.

 

 

MEN'S ENGLISH

 

"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.

 

"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.

 

"I'm tired" = I'm tired.

 

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you?

 

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you?

 

"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you ?

 

"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

 

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

 

"You look tense, let me give you a massage" = I want to fondle you

 

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

 

"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

 

"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?

 

"I love you" = Let's have sex now.

 

"I love you too" = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!

 

"Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

 

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys