MALE SEX QUESTIONAIRRE

[Clubbing Si]

>> Are YOU A HARD MAN?

>>

>> 1/. When reaching your sexual climax do you?

>>

>> a) Make low moaning sounds in her ear.

>> Suck on her neck to produce a love bite.

>> c) Shove your thumb up her arse so she screams her tits off.

>>

>> 2/. You're in bed one night and she whispers "I love you". Do you?

>>

>> a) Whisper back "I love you too".

>> Put your arse on her leg and fart.

>> c) Say "Go to sleep dog breath".

>>

>>

>> 3/. After you have made love to your wife do you?

>>

>> a) Hold her in your arms until she falls asleep.

>> Wipe your dick on her nightie and turn over.

>> c) Tell the bitch to go get in with the kids.

>>

>> 4/. If you break wind during the night do you?

>>

>> a) Try and cough at the same time and hope she didn't hear.

>> Hold her head under the covers laughing your bollocks off.

>> c) Blame her and give her a boot.

>>

>> 5/. If she breaks wind do you?

>>

>> a) Be a gentleman and pretend you didn't hear.

>> Clout the bitch.

>> c) Say "you dirty bitch" and shove her out in the back yard.

>>

>> 6/. You come home early and find her in bed with a big buck negro.

>> Do you?

>> a) Close the door quietly and clear off.

>> Join in and stick it up the negro's arse.

>> c) Dowse them both with petrol and set fire to the cunts.

>>

>> 7/. Your toilet's in the bathroom, you're busting for a crap and

>> she's in the bath. Do you?

>>

>> a) Go next door and use theirs.

>> Yell "Move it goat face, the fuckin tortoise head's out of the

>> shell".

>> c) Sit next to her making noises like a flock of starlings taking off.

>>

>> 8/. You want sex but it's period week. Do you?

>>

>> a) Wait until next week.

>> Wank.

>> c) Get your face in there and come up looking like the man on the

>> All Gold ad.

>>

>> 9/. She announces she is leaving you. Do you?

>>

>> a) Break down in tears and beg her to stay.

>> Put up streamers and arrange a street party.

>> c) Empty your nostrils in her face, kick her in the [censored], then get

>> pissed.

>>

>> 10/. She tells you she's having an unwanted baby. Do you?

>>

>> a) Tell her not to worry, we'll manage somehow.

>> Belt her in the guts with a cricket bat.

>> c) Sell the house, clean out the bank account and scarper.

>>

>> SCORE: a) 1. 2. c) 3.

>>

>> 0 - 15. If brains were spuds, you'd own Ireland.

>> 15 - 29. You must try harder.

>> 30. Congrats. You're one of the boys

[Agent]

1, a

2, b

3, b if i was married

4, b

5, c

6, c

7, c

8, b n let here watch

9, c

10, a

 

I must try harder

[SAVAGE]

lol

[Claire DC]

pmsl at some of those

[Mr Moo]

I read em.......all the answers arent very logical are they

[MS Zee]

LMFAO!!!!!

 

Just what I needed today, cheers!!

[Mr Moo]

[Clubbing Si]

u r good at throwing a spanner in the works lol - go knob a banana! lmao