definition of a townie

[Chris Hutchinson]

Lee Pasch posted this on the Tidy forum - made me laugh cos its true

 

 

The most common use for the word 'townie' in England is that which describes a person.

 

A townie is normally aged between 11 and 15. Listens to so-called 'garage' music such as Blazin' Squad and So Solid Crew, neither of which is REAL garage music; simply pop music with a stammering kid in fake diamonds fronting the band.

 

A townie will normally dress in grubby shell-toed Nike trainers, rolled-up Adidas tracksuit bottoms and an unmatching jogging top, regardless of the sex.

 

If female, the jogging jacket will most likely be pink or baby blue, most likely purchased for £5 at the local market and will have the word 'PRINCESS', 'BABE', 'BLING BLING' or 'FCUK' spelt out in white across the front.

 

If male, the townie's jogging top will most likely be white with blue sleeves, again purchased for £5 at a market; and will have the name of an American city spelt out across the front, ie. 'BOSTON', 'DETROIT', or 'CUBA'; ..despite the fact that these creatures are not intelligent enough to know where the places they advertise on their chests are. Most, upon asking, will not even realize that 'BOSTON' is a city.

 

 

A townie will often smoke because "it's alrigh', innit?". All townies own at least one item of clothing with the disgusting beige/brown Burberry print upon it. Obviously, this garment is not genuine Burberry, and instead of the £400 charged for a real Burberry bag/scarf, will have been purchased for £1.50 down the local market.

 

 

A female townie will have poorly dyed blonde hair with split ends and two inch long roots, gelled back into an impossibly tight bun/ponytail held by a fake Burberry hair-tie. The ears will also be adorned with at least three fake gold earrings ("only two quid fer eigh' pairs dahwn 'a marke'") and will have some form of acne, vainly covered up by layers upon layers of cheap foundation, blue eyeshadow and neon blusher. Eyes will also be caked with smudged eyeliner and clumpy blue mascara.

 

 

A male townie will not wear make-up, but will normally have a diamanté stud in one ear and boast that he did it himself.

 

 

All townies look down upon anyone who:

 

 

A) is intelligent

 

has a future that doesn't involve the words 'McDonald's drive-thru'

 

C) owns an item of black clothing

 

D) doesn't listen to So Solid Crew

 

E) doesn't smoke

 

F) doesn't have a forced Cockney accent

 

G) shows ANY sign of refusal to conform to the masses; ie. INDIVIDUALITY

[Tresh]

Care to define a scally next?

[Guest]

To be honest, I don't care.

 

[Tresh]

nowt new there then.

[Lisa]

got lots of them in my home town, trendy fookers!!

[Guest]

QUOTE (Tresh @ Apr 6 2004, 16:08)

nowt new there then.

I don't care if people are townies or not.

 

 

[Tresh]

QUOTE (Maria @ Apr 6 2004, 16:12)

QUOTE (Tresh @ Apr 6 2004, 16:08) nowt new there then. I don't care if people are townies or not. I just meant the "I don't care" bit was nothing new for u about anything.

[Guest]

QUOTE (Tresh @ Apr 6 2004, 16:14)

QUOTE (Maria @ Apr 6 2004, 16:12) QUOTE (Tresh @ Apr 6 2004, 16:08) nowt new there then. I don't care if people are townies or not. I just meant the "I don't care" bit was nothing new for u about anything. I do care about things though.   Wether an individual is a townie or not, I don't care.   Unless of course, these townies did anything personal to me.   P.s - you scally.

[Tresh]

QUOTE (Maria @ Apr 6 2004, 16:23)

P.s - you scally.

Gonna get my Lacoste traccy tomorro

[Guest]

QUOTE (Tresh @ Apr 6 2004, 16:27)

QUOTE (Maria @ Apr 6 2004, 16:23) P.s - you scally. Gonna get my Lacoste traccy tomorro Not KAPPA then eh eh eh ?

[Lisa]

here you go peeps!!

 

TOWNIE CENTRAL!!!

[Chris Hutchinson]

Wether an individual is a townie or not, I don't care.

This aint a serious topic.......its a pisstake ya'know

QUOTE (Maria @ Apr 6 2004, 16:23)

[lovesucks]

SCALLYCENTRAL.COM!

[Trouble]

could i point out that 90% of towines wer fred perry addias or nike

 

 

rebok and elesie are not an expensive enought make in ther eyes

 

and they like hardcore far to much

 

ohh dont for get the socks over the trakki bottems

 

 

 

hummmm stylish

[nuthead53]

you know u can get scouse mo peds

 

say this out aloud

' m8888 m8888888888 m8888888888 m888888888888888 m8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888, sounnnnnnd sounnnnd sound '

 

m8 = rev's going up

sound = slowing down