Some more Good Un's

[Clubbing Si]

Jim decided to propose to Sandy. However, prior to her acceptance, Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at the maturity of a 12-year-old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her so much.

 

However, Jim felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that he also had a deformity. Jim looked Sandy in the eyes and said, "I, too, have a problem. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married."

 

She said, "Yes, I will marry you and learn to live with your infant size penis”.

 

Sandy and Jim got married and they could not wait for the honeymoon. Jim whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing, and holding one another. As Sandy put her hands in Jim's pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room! Jim ran after her to find out what was wrong.

 

She said, "You told me your penis was the size of an infant!"

 

"Yes it is...8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long!!"

[Clubbing Si]

Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions...

 

The first guy says, " I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know... Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist

 

The second guy says, " I'm a D.I.N.K.Y., you know... Double Income, No Kids Yet."

 

The third guy says, " I'm a R.U.B, you know.. Rich, Urban, Biker"

 

They turn to a woman and ask her, "What are you? "

 

She replies, “I’m a WIFE; you know...Wash, Iron, [censored], Etc"....

 

 

[Clubbing Si]

A young couple got married. On their honeymoon, they were very anxious about having sex because they were both virgins. Because of their sexual inexperience, they were a bit uncomfortable discussing the subject so they came up with the term "doing the laundry" to use in place of "having sex”.

 

This made them both more comfortable with the whole concept. Well, the first night of their honeymoon was wonderful. They "did the laundry" 5 times that first night. In the middle of the night, the new husband woke up, and he was ready to do the laundry again. He gently shook his new wife and asked her, "Can we do the laundry again?" but she was very tired.

 

She told him that she just couldn't do it again just yet. Maybe in the morning. A few hours later, the new wife awoke feeling very guilty. What he had asked for wasn't unreasonable, and she decided she should go ahead and "do the laundry" with him again.

 

She gently shook him and said, "Honey, I'm sorry I denied you... We can do the laundry again if you want,"

 

He replied, "That's ok... It was a small load... I did it by hand."

 

[Clubbing Si]

A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed, he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month.

 

A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise.

 

The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog.

 

After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music."

 

"Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."

 

[Sweet]

good ones

[Claire DC]

nice 1 Si