In Her Own Words

 

Defense Attorney : What is your age?

 

Little Old Woman : I am 86 years old.

 

Defense Attorney : Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?

 

Little Old Woman : There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

 

Defense Attorney : Did you know him?

 

Little Old Woman : No, but he sure was friendly.

 

Defense Attorney : What happened after he sat down?

 

Little Old Woman : He started to rub my thigh.

 

Defense Attorney : Did you stop him?

 

Little Old Woman : No, I didn't stop him.

 

Defense Attorney : Why not?

 

Little Old Woman : It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.

 

Defense Attorney : What happened next?

 

Little Old Woman : He began to rub my breasts..

 

Defense Attorney : Did you stop him then?

 

Little Old Woman : No, I did not stop him.

 

Defense Attorney : Why not?

 

Little Old Woman : Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all aliveand excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

 

Defense Attorney : What happened next?

 

Little Old Woman : Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread myold legs and said to him..."Take me young man... Take me!"

 

Defense Attorney : Did he take you?

 

Little Old Woman : Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!!"... And that's when I shot the son of a bitch!

nice one

lmao