The London Thunderground !

[CreamyC]

In a recent 'London Survey' London Underground went out for one week on the streets of London to ask Londoners what they thought of London Underground.

 

This was to identify what really was wrong with London's Choob network after record number of complaints came flooding in in the last four weeks. "We have to act" said Terry Ball "so many people are complaining that if we dont do something this network will go down the choob". Quite right Terrible! So, a list of questions were set out by the big bods around a long squared circled table and up came the critical question .......

 

This catergory proved popular, we asked 100 people "What pisses you off about the choob?"

 

A staggering 48 people responded "Big fat bastards taking up two seats with their large arses, one seat per bum cheek."

 

A moderate 22 people responded "Those dirty fuckers with wet patches underneath their arms, which also creates a smell worse than cow [censored], not nice"

 

A smaller of 19 people responded "I hate it when ugly mingers look at me, I find it offensive and rude"

 

A group of 10 people argued that the Choob was "the most dirtiest littliest shite on the underground" (not quite sure with this answer as the Choob is on the underground but after further investigation we found that these fools were from up north and they didn't know what the arse they were talking about!)

 

and .................

 

A single fat bastard of 1 stated that he was annoyed that the Cadbury machines never worked and always lost his 40p worth of Cadburys Boost!

 

So, our answers were then clarified and clarified again and heres what we came up with ............

 

There will be dedicated trains split into groups, first up will the the SEXY TRAIN, this train will accomodate all the sexy, fit people (95% birds) and will depart first, the second group train to leave will be the MINGERS TRAIN but will leave 5 mintues after the last SEXY TRAIN so theres no potential clash and offensiveness. The following third group will be the FAT BASTARD TRAIN, there was a major debate over who should go first over this one and the BO TRAIN but the explanation comes later, 5 trains will run for these fat bastards, miss it and you can walk - you fat bastards! The last group will be the BO TRAIN, this goes last purely as punishement for not washing with care, you go behind the fatty train seeing as that runs 20 minutes slower than the rest so you will get home later! How do you avoid this train? Wash!

[Claire DC]

Is this ur masterpiece creamy or u took it from somewhere?

[CreamyC]

It was written in one of my darkest hours of one of my bleakest days!

 

I nearly killed myself but brought myself back from the brink!

 

Nothing, I repeat nothing will ever take those memories away from me, remember this I love you all, you're all my dearest friends and I will never forget that !

[CreamyC]

I also forgot to add .............. Kiss my arse !

[Claire DC]

Typical

[TomD]

London zzzzzz