Imagine Nursery Rhymes were like this!!!

[Bushy]

Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the sides

And every time that Mary walked the boys could see her thighs

Mary had another skirt twas split right up the front

...but she didn't wear that one very often

 

Mary had a little lamb. Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her, between two chunks of bread.

 

Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.

Silly Jill forgot her pill And now there's little Franky.

 

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, her clothes all tattered and torn.

It wasn't the spider that crept beside her, But Little Boy Blue and

his horn.

 

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone.

When she bent over Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own.

 

Mary had a little lamb It ran into a pylon.

10,000 volts went up it's arse and turned it's wool to nylon

 

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the Pieman, What have you got there?

Said the Pieman unto Simon, Pies, you dickhead.

 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the kings horses and all the kings men, Said

"F*ck him, He's only an egg.

 

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

When the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too, cause he was

gay.

 

[Nick G]

Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed while Little Miss Muffet was giving him head,

after he came she started to weep cos Humpty'd [censored] off to shag Bo Peep !

[Mr Moo]

Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the sides

And every time that Mary walked the boys could see her thighs

Mary had another skirt twas split right up the front

...but she didn't wear that one very often

 

One name comes to mind.....

 

ShexualSteve!