learn from the kids.

[Snez]

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

 

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:

 

Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):

 

1. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4

inches deep.

 

2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

 

3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

 

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

 

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When

using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times

before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

 

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

 

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too

late.

 

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

 

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year

old man says they can only do it in the movies.

 

10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.

 

11. PlayDough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

 

12. Super glue is forever

 

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't

walk on water.

 

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

 

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiche! s even though TV commercials show they do.

 

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

 

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

 

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

 

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like

ovens.

 

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

 

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms

dizzy.

 

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

 

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

[Maria]

LMAO !!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

sorry but im an honest person and I will say that I didn't read it as it was too long

[Mr Moo]

PMSL!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Same ere!

[Snez]

hehe whoops then.. will make em smaller in future

[Maria]

Not too small tho.

 

I liek em big.

 

haha

[Snez]

lol i jus can't win

[Maria]

Aim for the net.