my dad, who'd go "not today, wife. they rot your teeth. you've had one too many."

what would she say?

she'd say "do me now, you filthy pig."

 

but then the universe would promptly cease to exist under the weight of such highly improbable events.

Probably

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dannyoldham said:

it's nearly 3am we are not at a club so what the f**k are we all doing??? there aint nowt on tv

 

I find it pretty sad to be honest.